


Weigh me down (with your love)

by happydayslarry, whatmakeslarrybeautiful



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ?? maybe?, AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Baker! Harry, Body Image, Depression, Eating Disorders, Flirting, Happy Ending, Harry is Louis baby, Insults, Light Angst, M/M, Pain, Panic Attacks, Rich Louis, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sad, Sad Harry, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Strangers to Lovers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trigger Warnings, Weight Issues, body image issues, but fluff, eventual smut? Maybe, fond, harry - Freeform, larry - Freeform, larry fic, lots of pet names like a shit ton of it, louis - Freeform, mentions of anorexia, mentions of depression, mild bullying, ok here we go, over usage of pet names, shameless fluff, these tags are a mess oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happydayslarry/pseuds/happydayslarry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatmakeslarrybeautiful/pseuds/whatmakeslarrybeautiful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That's not possible. I know I'm not beautiful, Louis, if I was, my reflection wouldn't make me never want to look into a mirror again!"</p><p>"You know, beauty is in-"</p><p>"The eyes of the beholder? Yeah, I know, but I don't GET IT!"</p><p>"If you were in my place, you'd see yourself how I see you."</p><p>"How do you see me?"</p><p>"I see you as someone so beautiful, so much so you're blind to your own beauty. Someone who's stronger than they know."</p><p>Harry isn't doing well in a world that seems to revolve around perfect looks. Luckily, Louis looks at him like he's perfect, and he's intent on making Harry see the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No one reads notes, but still.
> 
> This fic contains stuff that can be triggering, if you're easily triggered or disturbed by mentions of self harm, anorexia, eating disorders, body image issues or anything of that sort, for your well being, I'd recommend not reading. 
> 
> Now. I've no clue how this fic is gonna end up, because all the credit for plot, ideas and my inspiration to write goes to my best friend, without whom even a single bit of this wouldn't exist. She thinks co writer isn't a title she deserves, I disagree. Other than that, only things i'd like to clear.
> 
> In this fic, Harry has body image issues. He THINKS he's overweight, but he isn't, as is custom with anorexia. its just his twisted version of reality. I am, in no way implying Harry is fat. So no trouble imagining him different, he looks the same as 2015 Harry. 
> 
> There's a lot of attention paid to body language in this, which portrays emotion more than thoughts do, they're subtle but you might wanna look out for that. 
> 
> That's all x

The smell of baked goods and bakeries has been something Harry has always a liking to. It was a sweet combination of warmth, and sugar and chocolate, something he has associated to a homey feeling. It was something he loved, something that soothed him.

Despite that, Harry sat behind the display of delicious items, jiggling his leg up and down, biting at the corner of his thumb. Outside, the sun was setting, golden light filtering through the glass doors. It was breezy and the sky was surprisingly clear. It was a good day, but nothing of that sort was going on inside his mind.

“Harry, mate?” he was snapped out of his thoughts by his co worker, Niall, who frowned at his spaced out look and apprehensive behavior.

“I’m leaving a bit early. Its only an hour till you can close up, yeah?” he asked, eyebrows raised in a silent question of ‘Can you handle it?”. It wasn’t unkind though, it was more of concern. Harry smoothed his features into one of nonchalance.

“Yeah. Yes, of course. See you tomorrow, Nialler.”

“Okay. Bye Harry!” Niall said, squeezing his arm, and breezing out the door. Harry slumped, dropping his head and heaved out a sigh. He let himself be pulled into the nagging thoughts he had whole day.

Earlier that day, Harry’s terror of a regular customer had come in. Eyes widening in alarm, he had looked around for, but he was on his break, and was nowhere to be seen. _Don’t panic. DON’T PANIC,_ he had told himself.

Trying to mentally prepare himself to endure nasty remarks, he took a deep breath and looked up, to see the man, Nick, was sneering at him impatiently. He didn’t realize he was slacking, as he was caught up in his worry.

“Get your fat arse moving, I haven’t got all day!” Nick snapped at him, simultaneously tapping his phone screen and bringing it to his ear. Harry tried not to show his hurt, attempted at a quiet hello, and promptly tried to put together his usual order. Instead, in his haste, he stumbled and tripped on the legs of the stool, catching himself just in time, resurfacing from behind the counter with a heated face to see Nick glaring at him.

“Why did they hire such knobheads like you when you can’t even function enough to do such a simple thing as getting off a chair?!” he had shouted, enunciating each word with rage. Harry’s eyes stung, but he resolutely turned his face away, and proceeded to set about the order with trembling hands, though he felt like he could cry at the embarrassment and hurt.

“No, not you, I was talking to the big fat imbecile over here,” Harry heard him speak into the phone, and he drew in a shuddery breath as the words stabbed at him. “….utter moron. Must’ve taken him in due to pity, wonder why else they’d hire a good for nothing. Takes ages to serve my order and….”

Harry couldn’t hear the rest over the rush of blood in his head didn’t want to listen more as he finished up the order dazedly and handed it to him. The man had looked at him coldly, lips curling in what was close to disgust, handed him the money and left. Harry would’ve broken down then and there, had it not been for Niall, who had just walked in, flashing him a grin. And he had discreetly wiped a stray tear and smiled bravely back. _Pretend, and ignore,_ he had told himself.

But now that he was alone, the thoughts that seemed to haunt him even when nights were over and you realize it’s a nightmare even with your eyes open, seemed to take over him. His eyes burned and his heart clenched painfully at the mere memory.

His eyes skimmed over his distorted, blurry reflection on the shiny glass in front of him, and he couldn’t hold it if he tried, the twisted reflection a shadow of how he saw himself, his darkest thoughts. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks uncontrollably, his breathing narrowing as he tried to muffle his loud sobs into his hands in the quiet area.

Nick’s words were on a loop in his mind, constantly getting stuck on ‘big’, ‘fat arse’ and ‘good for nothing’, and he dug his fingers painfully into his thighs, trying to distract himself. He clenched harder, and a broken sob left his lips as he saw how tightly the jeans were clinging onto his thighs.

 _He was pathetic, didn’t even have the right to cry._ And out of nowhere, all those memories, all the harsh words he had tried to lock away sprung to his mind.

“ _What is he WEARING??!”_

_“he could do with some shaping up”_

_“Pathetic!”_

_“Look, it’s the depressed kid.”_

And he could hear the cruel laughs mocking him. Half the said things weren’t even true, but nothing would convince him that. Because that was the way it worked. If you kept hearing the same thing over and over again, even if you didn’t want to believe it, you would, sooner or later. Blindly he wished for comfort, but he bit his lip harshly when he figured no one would ever want to associate with him even. His existence didn’t matter to anyone, not even him.

“Cut” was what his mind immediately supplied with, and he looked around wildly, to make the pain his release, but stopped helplessly as he realized where he was. Instead he dragged his blunt nails down his arms, blunt enough not to leave marks, but hard enough to sting, and finally the pain he was feeling on the inside was close to the pain he was feeling on the outside.

He shook his sleeves down; looking at the pink and red scars would only add to the craving to take it out on himself. It was as if he couldn’t stop crying, holding back sobs were confining, restricting, like the walls were closing in on him even more. It was the kind of ugly crying where you would start crying for a single reason, but end up crying about everything. He was lost, in his own web of loathing and self pity.

 

A little distance away, Louis was out and about, enjoying the lovely weather, the gold of the sun kissing his skin, and leaving a smile as radiant on his lips. For once, he wasn’t buried in work, and he had decided to take advantage of that.

He was walking around aimlessly, a happy bounce in his step, when something caught his eye. Or rather, someone.  Inside the quaint little bakery shop he was passing, he saw a boy through the glass. For a second, everything around him slowed down, his breath held, as he took in one of the most beautiful boy he had ever come across. But what made him stop, was the sad face and downcast eyes. He frowned; no one that pretty deserves to be sad, especially not on such a beautiful day.

Without giving it much thought, he swiftly entered the shop, not noticing the ‘closed’ sign which was hung on the door. As the door opened, a little bell chimed, and the boy jumped a little, and snapped his head to look at him, quickly wiping his tears away with the sleeves of his jumper and gave him a watery smile. Louis still thought it was the most beautiful thing ever.

Pain was usually shaded grey and black, but looking at the boy, he realized the pain and sadness he was seeing in front of him came in pastel soft colors, a warm blush and a timid smile. Even with red rimmed eyes and quiet sniffling, the sight in front of him was precious. And precious things shouldn’t be miserable.

“Sir, we’re closed for today,” the boy’s deep voice suddenly snapped him out of his gaze on him, which had seemingly not gone unnoticed.

“Oh,” Louis said simply, _that must be why the shop is so empty._

“But I’ll, …. I can take up your order Sir,” he continued, fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of his loose sweater.

“Just call me Louis um…Harry.” Louis said, after looking at the little tag that was pinned to the front. Harry blinked slowly.

“Um, okay, Louis. What would you like?”

“Two chocolate croissants….and a large smile please.” As soon as he said that, he nearly whacked himself _what was wrong with him that was too forward oh god…_  But he watched as Harry blanked, smiling a little unsurely at him. _Okay, that went well._

“Oh, and make the smile extra sweet please,” he pressed on recklessly, and he thought it was worth, when Harry’s  face broke out into a full blown yet shy smile, dimples,  _fucking dimples_  popping out, and he looked down bashfully. Louis wanted that smile always, and he wanted to be the reason behind it.

After a few seconds of gazing at each other, Harry seemed to quickly yet gracefully get into action, searching out for the items.

Louis watched him work, saw him sneak a glance at him a couple of times and blushing every time he realized he was caught. It was endearing. Once he was done, he handed him the money.

“Can I eat in here?” Louis asked, gesturing to the many sets of chairs and tables arranged. Louis saw Harry glance towards the door, biting his lip, but he nodded meekly.

“Well then come on. Come have one with me,” he said, walking towards a table, stopping when he realized Harry wasn’t following. He walked back to where Harry was standing there, looking at him hesitantly.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, brows furrowed in confusion. Harry shook his head a bit.

“It… its yours, I can’t have it.”

“Oh don’t be silly love, come on, I bought one for you anyways,” Louis said brightly, biting his tongue at the term of endearment, but he was relieved at the small blush on Harry’s cheeks. He seemed rooted to the ground though, so Louis tugged slightly at the sleeve of his large lavender sweater, and didn’t comment when Harry pulled his hand away swiftly, eyes flashing in fear briefly, before he followed Louis, somewhat uncertain.

Louis pulled out a chair for Harry, and then he sat down opposite him. He smiled at him reassuringly and handed one of the croissants to Harry, who took it reluctantly, and stared at it. Louis waited for him to start, and when he didn’t, he was confused. Harry was eyeing the croissant apprehensively, eyebrows knotted and lips pressed together tightly.

“Go on Harry, it won’t bite,” Louis said jokingly, and he could’ve sworn he saw Harry roll his eyes at him, and he sat momentarily stunned, before he assumed it probably wasn’t really out of annoyance.

Harry sighed, and started nibbling on it, drifting off into his thoughts. Louis took a large bite of his own, chewed a bit, and then let out a moan of appreciation, which caught Harry’s attention.

“Mmhmm Harryyy, this is really good,” Louis said with his mouth full, a few dry flakes falling out of his mouth. “Oops,” he muttered, his neck flushing as he saw Harry’s lips on the verge of a smirk. _Could this boy get any more_ _beautiful_?

“You know, you should smile more, you’ve got a beautiful smile,” Louis blurted out, and Harry ducked his head, mumbling a thanks.

“So,” he said, after swallowing down his large mouthful, “Did you make these?”

Harry lifted his eyes up to meet Louis. “Yes.”

“Well they’re really good, “Louis said earnestly.

After searching his face to see if Louis was messing with him, Harry hummed shyly, the smallest of smiles playing on his lips. He looked a lot calmer than before, Louis noticed.

“So what else do you do?”. Harry shot him a quizzical look, still barely nibbling at his croissant.

“I mean what else do you like to do? As a hobby?” Louis clarified, eyes trained on Harry. The golden-orange sunlight was falling on his face, making the ends of his curls gleam golden, his eyes and skin soaking in the warmth, and he found it difficult to contain all that beauty for a second. Louis had to force himself not to get lost in admiring Harry. _He was so fucked._

“Um, I bake…” Harry started off slowly, tugging at his lip nervously and Louis just wanted to soothe his frazzled nerves.

“Well that was obvious. Other than that? But that is a pretty solid talent, because I’m rubbish at anything to do with cooking. The first time I made popcorn, I left it in for too long and it looked, and tasted like charcoal. Only I’d be able to pull off burning popcorn!” Louis said, smile in his voice evident, beaming at Harry’s shocked but amused face.

“You, cannot make popcorn wrong!!” Harry said, voice coming out a pitch higher in incredulity. The fact that he found it way too endearing alarmed him a bit. If he had known it would only take the littlest things to amuse Harry….

“Well I did. Two kinds of people in this world Harry, you got you, and then you got me.” Harry shook his head at him in disbelief.

Louis paused. In any other situation, with any other person, he wouldn’t sink as low to make a lame pun or joke. But it was worth a try, if it would earn a giggle out of the other boy, _right?_

“Hey Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you call a very angry aunt?”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, clearly not expecting Louis to spring a joke upon him, but he asked curiously, “What?”

“A _cross aunt. Croiss-ant,”_ Louis said, breaking off into a chuckle.

There was one scary moment of silence, where Louis cursed himself for coming up with the lamest joke ever and possibly making Harry feel a little weird. But as the first loud laugh left Harry’s lips, every single fuck went out the window,  _he was already in too deep too fast_. He watched in amazement, as a steady stream of giggles left Harry, who was slightly hunched over, smile lines forming on his face and making him look even more younger than he was.

“Louis that…that was terrible!” Harry choked out, still laughing, and Louis couldn’t help but join.

“Yeah…but you’re laughing!”

“Only because that’s the worst one I’ve ever heard!”

They both paused for a second, looking at each others’ smiling faces, before Harry dropped his gaze, remnants of laughter etched into his dimples.

“I paint….” Harry said after a few minutes of peaceful silence. Louis looked at him wonderingly.

“As a hobby…I paint. Art. Sketches. Its how I express myself,” Harry said lowly, a distant look in his eye. Louis nodded, impressed.

“Art, huh? I think that’s cool. Can’t draw for the life of me, mate. I’m into sports. Football mainly. Not just watching, I reckon I play pretty decently too.”

“I sing as well. I mean, um, I love singing,” Harry then admitted, gaze fixed on Louis.

“Me too! Except, I don’t sing much when people are around. I think I’ve scared the neighbor’s cat once or twice with my singing, me,” Louis said lightly, though the twinkle in Harry’s eyes told him he hadn’t bought him, not for a second.

“How old are you, Harry?” Louis then asked, leaning a bit forward into the table, Harry subconsciously doing the same.

“ ‘M 21. You?”

“I’m 24. 21, hmm? So you’re still studying? What do you study?” Louis asked in interest.

“Majoring in Psychology,” Harry said with a small smile, _he must like the subject,_ “what about you?”

“Oh, I’m not studying, Harry. I’m _working.”_

“What do you work as?” Harry asked, eagerly.

“Assistant manager of Payne Corporation.” Louis smirked despite himself at Harry’s wide eyes and jaw dropping in astonishment. Payne Corporation was easily known for its wide success. Harry’s eyes ran over him, clearly trying to take in the fact that he was so young, but so rich.

“Wow…that’s. Wow!” Harry sputtered out in admiration after a few seconds of surprise.

“Thanks. So, favorite color?” Louis asked, grinning at Harry openly rolling his eyes at him now.

“What, are we playing twenty questions now?”

“I don’t have twenty questions prepared for you now, Harold. Maybe next time,” Louis teased, his heart catching at Harry’s look of surprise and… _hopefulness?_ at the mention of ‘next time’.

“Okay. Lavender,” Harry said, surprising Louis with his answer. Usually, people answered with very stereotyped, boring answers, but looking at the epitome of softness in front of him, it seemed fitting.

“Mine’s green,” he answered without thinking, looking right into jade green eyes. And then, trying not to freak him out with his forwardness, he smiled nonchalantly. He wasn’t sure it worked; Harry was suppressing a smile.

“Tell me about your family, Harry,” Louis said, resting his head upon his clasped hands, but then hastily added, “that is, if I’m not intruding.”

“You’re not,” Harry sighed. “My mum, Anne, lives with my stepdad, Robin. I have an older sister, Gemma,” he said softly, eyes revealing how fond he was of his family. Louis smiled at him.

“Well, my mum got married again a couple of years ago. And I have 6 siblings,” Louis said, chuckling at Harry’s eyes widening.

“Six siblings?!?!”

“Yeah. Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, Phoebe, Doris and Ernest. I’m the oldest,” Louis said fondly; he loved them a lot. Harry listened raptly.

After sitting in silence for a while, Louis sighed. “So…” he started, deciding to just cut to the point, “Is everything alright?”

Harry’s face and smile was quick to drop, eyes losing their shine, and eyebrows knotting. His entire demeanor changed; he drew in upon himself a little, and immediately averted his gaze. It pained Louis to see how much sadness Harry was emitting.

“What…what do you mean?” Harry tried weakly, voice breaking.

“I mean, what’s wrong? You seemed pretty down when I came in, wanna talk about it?” Louis asked gently, trying not to startle the younger boy too much.

Harry shook his head furiously, blinking rapidly. “N-no, its nothing. I’m alright,” he stuttered, eyes not meeting Louis’, the corners of his lips tilted downwards.

“We both know that’s not true. But if you want to talk, I’ll listen,” Louis tried coaxing him, but Harry shook his head some more, frowning deeply. Louis sighed.

“Okay. But if you ever want to talk, I’ll listen Harry. I might not be able to help, but I can certainly hear you out. And because I’m practically a stranger to you, you could tell me without worrying about the consequences, letting it out helps. I wouldn’t judge you, ever,” Louis was only trying to reach out to the younger boy. Harry stared hard at the table, unwilling to look up.

“I’m only looking out for you, Harry,” Louis mumbled, wanting to just like, hold him or something, and that was what finally made Harry look at him.

“Why?” he asked, confusion lacing his voice.

“Because,” Louis shrugged, “Cause I care. I don’t want people to be sad if I can help it, especially not someone as lovely as you.” Any sense of holding back had been lost the minute he had realized he could very well have a chance to make Harry happy.

Harry seemed to ease a little at that, the lines on his forehead softening. “You’re too nice, Louis.”

“Thank you.”

The air between them was both uncertain, as well as lightening. They both seemed to realize that Louis couldn’t stay around for much longer.

“It was lovely talking to you, Harry. But I’ve got to go now,” Louis said, sighing heavily, looking at the slowly darkening sky. Harry seemed to deflate a little at his words.

“You too Louis. And, yeah. Hope you have a lovely day,” Harry said with wide, honest eyes. Louis smiled, getting up.

“You’ll see me around, Harry. Have a good night, love,” he said quietly, and without thinking, he tapped Harry’s nose lightly, and beamed at him. And the without waiting for Harry’s response, he called out a ‘bye’ and walked out through the glass door.

He couldn’t help himself. He peeked through the glass anxiously, to see Harry frozen in his seat. But he watched as Harry’s face bloomed into the biggest smile he’d seen all evening, as he slowly brought up his hand to touch the spot on his nose where Louis had touched him. He sort of gave a happy little bounce in his seat, and rose to his feet, swaying a little. _Louis was truly fucked._

He felt a rush of fondness as Harry took up a broom, and with a giddy smile still in place, started moving around in little bursts of happy energy, and though he couldn’t hear it, he realized that his lips moving silently was him singing. Louis _almost_ walked right back in just to hear him sing, but he caught himself, and just took a deep breath in, squeezing his eyes shut, Harry’s happiness being the image burned into his memory. And if he spent the rest of the day feeling content being a reason for that beautiful smile, and had vowed to make the boy happy, then only he would know that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minor problems, fond staring and happy smiles :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took wayy too long. Getting down to what I wanted to say, first of all, it maybe not much, but to anyone who's reading, leaving comments, kudos etc, thank you so much, its a bit overwhelming really. A few things I wanted to say:  
> I'm not spoiling it, but keep in mind people with depression or just plain sadness can have their better days :)
> 
> Idk why I do this, nobody cares, but if you squint, subtle, subtle things in this form Harry's character. And if he seems to get easily upset, its only because he's emotionally unstable. Its not unusual.
> 
> Shout out goes, once again, to my best friend, who is the very brains of this fic. I wouldn't be writing any of this without her. Pleasure is mine, in writing for you angel :)
> 
> oh also, I sadly know shit about bakeries, or cars or stuff so any mistakes, sorry! Most of it was written late night, so if its a bit crappy, well...  
> other than that, hope you enjoy. x

Harry woke up the next morning yawning and stretching under his sheets, feeling quite…displaced. He blinked in disorientation; for a second not being able to pinpoint what was different. But as he caught himself smiling, he paused. It was the first time in… _days? ...weeks?_   that he had woke up without feeling the familiar weight of loneliness and dread pulling him down.

It had been so long, since pain and normalcy had blurred into one, so long since he had slept soundly without his own thoughts turning against him. His sleepy smile widened as he remembered the reason for his current state. _Louis._ Louis, the boy with the kind smile who had come in after working hours, had stumbled upon him crying, and yet had not judged. Louis, who was sweet and funny and who genuinely seemed to not hate him.

 Harry sat up in bed, smile lingering. _Today is gonna be a good day. Today, I’ll be happy no matter what,_ he told himself, yesterday’s happiness fuelling his thoughts, urging him to stay positive. He got out of bed, and headed straight for the shower, still thinking _it’s all good._

Except, maybe it wasn’t. As soon as he had stripped (while pointedly avoiding the mirror) and stepped into the shower, he turned the taps on, waiting for the warm water to start falling. After about a minute of waiting, he realized his shower head had somehow fucked up; there was a strange whirring sound coming from it, but no water. Harry groaned in frustration.

 _I am not gonna let small things get to me,_ he repeated in his head as he reluctantly filled a bucket with cold water and used it to take a bath. _Fake it till you make it,_ he told himself as he stood shivering at the cold, refusing to let himself be upset.

Once he had toweled himself off and changed into something large and warm, he headed down into the kitchen to make himself a light breakfast. Humming under his breath, he pulled open the fridge, and stopped short, not believing his luck. There was almost nothing in it! _How had he not noticed that?_

He groaned again as it hit him; he was too caught up being dreamy and elated after yesterday’s pleasant turn of events, that he had forgotten to go grocery shopping after. he rested his head against the cool surface of the fridge; he could feel small bouts of anxiety creep up on him, worry that his day is just gonna end up like all others.

His breathing eased up a little though, as he remembered why he had been distracted. Sweet Louis. Just yesterday’s memories were enough to calm Harry, because _no, he wouldn’t let himself be affected by trivial things, today would be better._

Harry sighed, running a hand through his long curls, and thought, “Screw breakfast.” What was skipping another meal gonna do to him? He wouldn’t be a slave to hunger. He straightened up, making a mental note to do grocery shopping that very evening. He took a deep breath, and made his way out to the hallway, pulling on a beanie, and made his way out to the car.

 Pulling up out of the driveway and to the road, he briefly wondered whether Louis would ever come again, but immediately crushed down his hopes, because _why would he?_ It didn’t sadden him, if anything, he was grateful he had gotten to meet someone as lovely as Louis, even if it was only for a short while. Nothing was gonna stop him from being happy today.

Harry was humming along to the song playing on the radio. ‘….. _Do you ever feel, like a waste of space…._ ’ and oh, the irony, he thought, smiling wryly. He stopped at a traffic light, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. But he paused as he heard a wheezing sound come from the engine, and panicked as the smell of burning evaded his senses. He  quickly glanced at the temperature gauge, to see it had crossed the optimal level. His car had overheated!

Since the bakery was close by, Harry only had to drive for less than a quarter mile, before he pulled up next to the bakery, the pungent smell overpowering him. He got out, coughing, and slammed the door shut. _So much for a good day._ He had to calm himself down by stubbornly hanging on to yesterday’s happiness.

But his distress must have shown on his face. Niall, who had turned to him with a large smile, frowned a little in concern as Harry walked over, and sat down on the stool next to him forcefully.

“Hey, why the long face, mate?” Niall asked cheerfully, nudging Harry’s shoulder. Harry sighed, and looked up at him, who was still beaming at him. It was beyond him, how this kid always looked like it was Christmas; he had rarely seen Niall without a brilliant smile on his boyish face, or without his words being punctuated with a laugh. He wondered how it must feel to be so happy all the time.

“Harry?

“Huh?”

“Why so gloomy?” Niall asked again, poking him. Harry huffed.

“Don’t ask Nialler, don’t even ask”

“Well I’m asking you now, aren’t I?” Niall chirped, and Harry cracked a small smile. He was not gonna let it go, was he?

“Well…” he took a deep breath, “First of all my shower head fucked up and I had to take a bath in cold water and freeze to death, and then I realized I have no grocery at home because I forgot to go shopping yesterday and then while driving here my car overheated or something and there was smoke and stuff and today is not gonna treat me well,” he said, speaking uncharacteristically fast, words rushing out one after another, revealing how stressed he was.

Niall looked at him, partly serious, partly amused. “You forgot grocery shopping? _You??_ ”

“Oh sod off, Niall,” Harry mumbled playfully, shoving him gently.

“No seriously. You never forget your weekly shopping,” Niall said, raising an eyebrow at him. Harry squirmed a bit under his gaze.

“Yeah. Must’ve been…distracted,” he mumbled lowly, avoiding Niall’s gaze, traces of a blush coloring his cheeks.

“Distracted huh? By what? Or, by whom?” Niall teased, eyes gleaming. Harry gaped at him.

“N-nothing. Just…was distracted…” he stammered out, and Niall laughed, clearly enjoying the sight of a flustered Harry. _Nosy little bugger_ , Harry thought fondly.

“Sure Haz, sure,” Niall replied, and went away to greet the first customer. Harry let out a breath of relief, having to stop his lips from twitching into a smile. He pulled up his hair into a bun, and tied his apron on, walking back into the large kitchen area they had, ready to bake a few muffins. Other co workers would come in later anyways, to serve at the till.

 

After midday, the rush at the bakery usually dwindled. Now there was only two more hours till closing time, and it was a lazy hour, so it was back to Niall and Harry. Harry was sat on his stool, idly twirling around on it, when he saw a woman in her mid-thirties come up to the counter. He quickly stopped, and jumped up, smiling sheepishly at the woman smirking at him in amusement.

He greeted her politely, and as he was taking her order, he heard the little bell chime, and he momentarily glanced sideways to see… _oh, Louis had come._ Louis immediately locked eyes with him and gave him a little wave. Harry instantly lit up, smiling a little shyly at him, looking at him from under his lashes. He lifted up a finger, indicating ‘one second’ and Louis nodded, and went to sit at one of the tables.

Harry couldn’t believe Louis had come back. He gazed after him in wonder and even from here he could see the crinkles by his eyes as he smiled warmly at him and _wow, Harry had probably never been at the receiving end of such a warm look._

“So…was this your distraction then?” Harry startled as Niall came up behind him. He turned quickly to face him, mouth open to deny, but looking at Niall’s knowing face, he dropped it, and hung his head. He could practically feel Niall’s smugness. _How does he know everything?_

“Well I can see why you were so distracted. I mean, I’ve got eyes,” Niall whispered loudly and Harry snuck a glance at Louis, who was waiting patiently at the table. Niall patted his back.

“Go on, go to him. I’ll take it from here,” he said, motioning towards Louis. Harry bit his lip, and mumbled a quiet ‘Okay’.

“Oh, and you’re telling me in detail about this distraction of yours,” Niall whisper-yelled just before pushing him off with a notepad, and Harry turned back and hissed at him to quiet down, before stumbling forward to where Louis was sat with his gaze fixed on him, unblinking. He gulped a bit anxiously as he reached him, and trying not to melt into nothing at the unwavering attention on him, he smiled meekly and said, “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Louis snapped out of it, blinking rapidly, a look of confusion etched into his features. “Huh??” he asked wonderingly.

Harry couldn’t help the giggle that left his lips. “Louis, what would you like to have?” he repeated, tapping his pen against his notepad.

“Ohh. Right, um,” Louis nodded belatedly, seeming a bit zoned out. Harry wondered why he was so distracted.

“I’ll get two chocolate croissants and….water?” Louis said, smiling happily at him, and Harry couldn’t help but smile back.

“And I’d ask for the smile, but you’re already giving it to me free of cost,” Louis commented, obviously picking up on his better mood. Harry tried hard to be unaffected, not bothering to write down the order.

“Okay. I’ll just get your order,” Harry spoke timidly, and turned to go the counter, where Niall was watching him with the most pleased grin ever on his face. And he couldn’t even do anything about it.

“Where is my Harry and what have you done to him?” he asked jokingly, poking his dimple, pointing out his full blown smile. Harry shrugged; humming noncommittally as he slightly heated up two croissants and put them on a little tray. He grabbed a bottle of water and walked back to Louis. He set it down in front of Louis gently, and then stood a little awkwardly.

Louis kicked out the chair opposite from him a little, and tilted his head, silently inviting him to come sit down with him. Harry looked back hesitantly towards the counter, where Niall merely flashed him a thumbs up, and nodded at him encouragingly. _Okay._

Harry sat down, and looked down baffled at the croissant Louis was offering him.

“For me? Again?” he asked, unable to stop himself. Maybe being nice was in Louis’ personality, but he didn’t quite understand why he was being so kind to him. Did he take pity on him or something?

“Yeah, of course it is! Why would I ask for two then? I love my sweets, but two’s a lot for me Harry,” Louis remarked cheerfully.

“But…why? Why are you buying for me?” Harry had to ask.

“Simple. Because I want to. And because it’d be a bit awkward if I’m the only one eating while we’re talking,” Louis replied simply, already biting into his croissant. Harry looked distastefully at his own, but having no choice, took a bite of it, only then realizing how hungry he was. His mind briefly raced to the fact that how much of it was gonna add to his body but he ignored it resolutely. At least, for a while.

Harry noticed that Louis was dressed sharp, in a fitting grey suit. “Are you coming straight from work?” he asked.

“Yup. Straight from a busy day of work to this lovely bakery of yours. On time too,” he said proudly, and Harry smiled at him.

“How was your day?” Louis asked casually, swallowing a mouthful. Harry shrugged.

“it was okay. Got down to baking a few stuff.”

“I can see that,” Louis said, smiling cheekily at him. Harry frowned slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got some flour in your hair, Haz,” Harry smiled at the nickname, but scrunched up his nose at the words. “Oh.”

He tugged at the band holding his curls together in a bun, letting them loose. He shook his head out thoroughly, running his hands through it and meticulously untangling the knots. It felt good to have it down; his scalp was starting to feel a bit sore after the hairs had been pulled taut all day by the bun.

He didn’t realize how engrossed he’d been in trying to comb out his hair till Louis cleared his throat. He immediately snapped his head up, face heating up.

“All done then?” Louis teased, though the twinkle in his eyes told him he hadn’t particularly minded. Harry nodded shyly.

“You’ve got…you’ve got lovely hair, Harry,” Louis commented out of nowhere. Harry blinked at him.

“Thank you,” he said a bit unsurely.

“Reminds me of a…lion,” Louis continued, and then slapped a hand over his mouth. Harry looked at him, amused.

“A lion???”

“Yeah…you know. A lion’s mane? Lions are majestic and beautiful. They’re brave too,” Louis rambled, seemingly thinking Harry had taken offence.

“I’ll take it as a compliment?” Harry asked, chuckling a bit.

“Yeah! I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I like your hair,” Louis rushed out all flustered, trying to please him. Harry rolled his eyes in mirth.

“Thank you. I like lions,” he said earnestly. Louis let out a relieved breath.

“Me too.” Harry smiled at the lightness and almost childishness of their conversation. He could do banter and casual talk. Louis was easy to talk to, and that was a major help.

 After a few moments of peaceful silence, Harry looked up to see Louis staring at him, a small smile playing on his lips. He smiled a little at him, and Louis’ smile widened a fraction, but his gaze was unbroken. Okay, two can play at that game, thought Harry, and he stared right back, unintentionally turning it into a staring contest. Louis smirked, staring back on, not fazed.

After a while, Harry’s eyes began to water, and he blinked hard. Louis let out a ‘YES’ of victory, as Harry wiped his eyes.

“How??” he trailed off, as Louis held the gaze strong for a few more seconds before blinking.

“When you’re the elder brother to way too many siblings,” Louis started in triumph, “you have all of them at some point randomly challenging you to a stare off, and yelling ‘first one to blink is a loser!’. Not bragging, but I’m a pro at this,” he ended with a smirk lacing his voice. Harry shook his head at him in mock exasperation.

But after a few minutes, he looked back at him, to see Louis’ gaze still fixed on his face, his eyes soft.

“Have I got something on my face?” he asked, bringing a hand up to his cheek uncertainly.

Louis laughed at him. “As a matter of fact, yes you do. You’ve a little chocolate at the corner of your mouth,” he said, touching a spot near his own mouth. Harry hurriedly mirrored his action, and brought up a finger to wipe away the chocolate, with Louis chuckling light heartedly at him.

“I had that on my face this whole time and you’re telling me now?!” Harry asked in slight indignation and disbelief, face flushing a bit. Louis waved it off.

“Aww come on, don’t be embarrassed. At least I was the only one who saw,” he remarked and Harry huffed.

“When I was in my sophomore year in high school,” Louis continued, as Harry looked at him curiously, “I walked around almost a whole day in school with ketchup on the corner of my mouth, and nobody told me. Everybody was looking at me, and little old me thought they were admiring me because I was cool and hot. I was vain, sue me, I was an air headed teenager. I walked around like that till the second last period, where the teacher asked me to wash it off in front of the whole class. Now, THAT’S true embarrassment,” he finished with a reminiscing tone nevertheless.

Harry couldn’t keep the incredulity from his voice. “How did you not realize that before?!”

Louis smiled. “I was naïve and vain back then.”

“And now? What happened to the big air headed vain teenager?” Harry asked jokingly.

“Ahh, naivety crushed by the perils of the modern world, and ego shattered by the responsibilities and harsh, cold blows of reality,” Louis sighed dramatically, and Harry giggled at him. Louis grinned back; he always seemed to be smiling at him; after Niall, he was easily the most cheerful person Harry had ever known.

After about half an hour of pleasant conversation, Louis looked out of the window. Harry raised a brow at him.

“So, its getting late, I think I’ve to head home actually,” Louis said quietly. Harry tried not to look sad, and looked outside, noticing that there was no car outside the bakery at the parking lots.

“Um, didn’t you drive? Where’s your car?” Harry asked and watched in bewilderment as Louis’ cheeks tinged pink.

“Yeah well…I actually took a bus till here, because it’s easier and takes a faster route than when I’m driving. Traffic would delay me, and I wanted to reach before you close, you know…” he trailed off a touch shyly, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Harry’s eyes bulged. He was surprised. _Louis went to all that trouble…just to make it on time? He actually really wanted to come back?_ So many unanswered questions swarmed his mind, but he pushed them to the back of his head.

“I’d offer you a ride, but something’s wrong with my car, I think I have to take it to the garage,” Harry mumbled instead.

“Is it that bad?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know. There was smoke coming out of it,” Harry shrugged.

“Can I have a look at it?”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to,” Harry tried, but Louis was having none of it.

“Yeah, absolutely. It’s not a big deal, Harry.” Louis assured him.

“Okay, if you’re sure. Its closing time anyways, I’ll just close up the shop,” Harry said, walking back to the counter, where Niall had already cleared up. He immediately grabbed Harry by the elbow.

“Sooo….spill,” he demanded, without preamble. Harry sighed.

“Its nothing. I met Louis yesterday; he came in after the shop was closed. He bought me a croissant. We talked. He’s nice,” he said shortly. Niall all but whined.

“That’s it??! Come on Haz, details!”

“Nothing else, really!” Harry protested. Niall sighed sufferingly.

“Okay, for now. Now, are we closing up?” he asked instead and Harry nodded. Niall straightened up the place once more, called out a ‘bye, have fun!’ and left. Harry and Louis got out together, with Harry locking up behind him.

Harry led him up to his car. “Pop the bonnet open for me, love,” Louis said, shrugging of his coat. Harry opened it up readily. Louis handed him his coat, and he held it close and securely, inhaling in deeply a very intoxicating scent of cologne discreetly, before he decided he didn’t want to be caught acting like a creep.

Louis had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, and was peering into the car, and Harry watched, enthralled. He asked for a few tools, and a bottle of water, and he fetched him the stuff, opting to just stand by him and watch carefully.

After a while of fiddling around, Harry watched as Louis poured some water into the radiator, and making sure that anti freeze was at its optimal level.

“Alright, Harold, start the car, let’s see if this baby is fixed,” Louis said, cocking his hips, and Harry eagerly complied. He started the car, and they simultaneously let out a whoop of happiness as it smoothly roared to life.

“Louis! You fixed her! Thank you,” Harry cried in genuine happiness and excitement, and Louis shrugged modestly.

“Her?” he asked in amusement. “Oh my god, please tell me you’re not one of those people who name their cars!” he said in mock horror.

“Heyyy, Betsy is my baby,” Harry said in half indignation, but he couldn’t stop the smile on his face. Louis rolled his eyes.

“At least Betsy is a cute name. Glad you didn’t name he something old fashioned like Elizabeth, or Victoria,” he joked, wiping the sweat of his face with the back of his hand, getting a little grease on his cheek in the process. Harry giggled at him.

“What are you laughing at?” Louis asked, smiling warmly. Harry simply looked pointedly at his cheek.

“Have I got something on my face?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow, mocking his words from before. Harry giggled some more.

“Yes you do. A little dirt,” Harry said, amusement increasing as Louis tried and failed to reach it.

“No, higher. No, ugh wait, I’ll just,” Harry sighed, stepping much closer to Louis, and reached out with his thumb to wipe it away himself. He gently smudged it with his finger, focusing intensely on his cheek, a slight shock going through him as Louis brought up a hand and let it rest on his waist lightly. Harry paused, feeling the air shift in its intensity.

He didn’t say anything; he quickly rubbed some ore till the spot was clean, all the while feeling, and seeing Louis staring intently at him.

“It’s gone,” he whispered, and the tension dropped as soon as Louis let his arm drop to his side. Harry stepped away and felt like he could properly breathe again.

“So. Thank you for fixing my car, Louis,” Harry said sweetly, breaking the silence that had fallen. Louis nodded.

“I can….I’ll drive you home?” Harry offered, ducking his head shyly. Louis perked up at that.

“Yeah, if it isn’t trouble for you, it’d be great.

Harry waved him off, and opened his car door for him, and Louis gave him a little bow, before getting in. Harry smiled stupidly and got in himself, pulling out onto the road, and asking Louis for directions.

The ride to Louis’ house was mainly in quiet, comfortable silence, except for the occasional chatter, and brief excitement when Louis started humming along to the Fray in Harry’s mixed collection of songs. Once Harry pulled up in front of a huge gate, and an even bigger house, Louis turned to him.

“Thanks for giving me a ride, Harry. And for a lovely time.” Harry blushed.

“It was nothing; after all you did fix my car. So thank you, again,” he said, handing back Louis his coat. He hung his head a bit sadly.

“Hey. I’ll see you around,” Louis said, and Harry smiled softly at him.

“Bye Louis.”

“Bye Haz,” Louis said, bopping his nose, again, and got out of the car. Harry stilled in pleasant shock. He dazedly touched the spot Louis had touched, and he didn’t know what the action was supposed to convey, didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t want to admit it made him feel giddy.

But when he looked out, a large smile on his face, and a light blush settled on his cheeks, he saw that Louis hadn’t left, and was watching him, and his blush deepened. He waved awkwardly and turned back around; the last thing he saw was Louis smiling even bigger, his beautiful features lit up.

As he drove back home, smile ever present, he thankfully realized he still hadn’t gone shopping. _Well, maybe today hadn’t been so bad after all,_ he thought, as he made a detour to the grocery shop. _Maybe things would be alright, even if its only for a while._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not fluff, nope, not in this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever goddd... This is a relatively sadder chapter, and despite my lovely best friend contributing so well to the idea part of it, pretty sure I couldn't do it justice in terms of writing. Anyhow.. and also I typed this way too carelessly I'll edit later :)
> 
> Literally only thing I need to say, anything I'm writing about Harry in this is purely for the sake of the story. I DO NOT think of him in any of the negative terms I've used. And he isn't any of those either, in this, he just happens to think he is. H is my baby, and I love him to death, and I think he's beautiful, but this story, needs otherwise. 
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy, and to anyone who has read so far, thank you xx

“Hello?”

“Hey, Niall? It’s Harry. I was calling to ask…is it okay if I come in to work a bit late today?”

“Why? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah….I’m just…feeling a little sick.”

“Oh. Will you be okay? You can take a day off today then, if you want.”

“No Niall, I’m fine, I’ll be there after a few hours.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. Bye Haz, take care.”

Harry felt his heart drop low as he heard the line cut off at the other end. He felt awful for lying to Niall about being sick; his mind twisting with guilt at how concerned his best friend had sounded but. He needed to do it. He needed to just _settle._

He wasn’t even lying. Not if you could count being stressed and mentally unsettled as ‘sick’.  He had woken up that morning from a very disturbed sleep, his head swarmed with thoughts. All thoughts relating to one person in particular.

Harry sighed deeply, pushing his palms onto his closed eyes. He was still in bed, buried in his covers, as he sat up against the headboard and tried to think calmly, how he had gotten himself into this situation.

Two days back, Harry had been in a ‘Louis bubble’. He was caught up in momentary happiness, and nothing had fazed him. However, it had taken him two shitty days, and a random stranger not-so-whispering ‘what a dork who’d want to be around him’, for him to come down from his cloud. It took him one look into the mirror right opposite his bed to have him come crashing down and realize; _why was Louis seeing someone as pathetic as me?_

Harry tore his eyes away from his pasty reflection, not wanting to see the clear image to be reminded of who he was, and how he looked. All his carefully concealed insecurities crashed over him out of nowhere, and his breathing turned harder. _Why,_ he thought, opting to curl in on himself, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his head in them, _why would anyone, especially a lovely person like Louis, hang around him?_

It made no sense to him. Louis had been nothing but nice to him, but now Harry wondered. Why? Why had Louis been like that? _What if it had been out of pity…._ that thought had him feeling sick and shrinking in worry.

He hesitantly lifted his head up, and risked a glance at the mirror, eyes getting glued to the reflection, as he felt his heart seize.  Louis was successful, he was not, Louis was confident and sweet, he was weak and grumpy, and above all, Louis looked like he was crafted by God in all fineness, while Harry looked as much of a mess like he felt.

His throat went dry and constricted at his reflection. Pale skin, greasy hair, blotchy face, fat thighs, pudgy stomach, weird nose….his flawed features seemed to be mocking him, and Harry screwed his eyes shut in pain, feeling his eyes burn. He felt as ugly as he looked. Meanwhile Louis…

The first tear escaped his eyes as he realized how fucking big he was when compared to Louis. Louis was small, petite and all soft edges. And Harry had never felt more disgusted with his body, never wanted to crawl out of his skin more than when he realized, that he, in stark contrast, was huge, in all senses, practically a freak as opposed to Louis.

Harry scratched down his bare thighs in agony. Here he was, wallowing in his own self pity, being a pathetic wreck, and crying like a big baby; who was he even to wish for the companionship of anyone else, much less Louis?

He could feel the tell tale signs of a panic attack coming up; he immediately grabbed a pillow and hugged it to this chest, burying his face into it and rocking from side to side as he started feeling a bit lightheaded. The thought of Louis seeing him for his weak self, or knowing how fucked up he was sent him spiraling down in sadness, and squeezing the pillow and breathing harshly through his nose was all he could do.

Louis would never like anyone like him. A depressed kid who takes out the pain on himself, and cries himself to sleep. He must get some sort of amusement from this whole ordeal. _He’s gonna stop visiting you once he realizes what a failure you are_ , the voice inside his head told him, and Harry broke off into loud, body wracking sobs, muffling his cries into the pillow, as always.

He wasn’t good enough for good things to last in his life. He was used to happiness leaving him in the blink of an eye. _This time though,_ he thought, toes scrunching and nails digging into his arms painfully, _he will not let himself be hurt, not again._

Harry wiped his tears away harshly, taking in deep breaths. He would not. He would not let another person into his life, would not let them have the power to shatter him. He was not going to make the mistake of getting too attached. With distance came the walls that gave him safety; he would not be vulnerable.

Harry decided to keep his distance with Louis, if he came again. As much as he craved the feeling of being wanted, loneliness had long before seeped and settled beneath his bones, and he was not willing to take a chance. He didn’t know why Louis was being nice to him, but he isn’t going to let that get to him. Pretend and ignore. _Pretend and ignore._

Once his breathing had returned to normal, Harry slumped, tense muscles loosening. Maybe he should get to work; Niall’s cheerfulness would distract him from himself. Because if there was something he learned, your own thoughts can be more toxic than poison, and can cut deeper than blades if left with it for too long.

Picking himself up, Harry slowly decided to get ready to go to the bakery, wondering wearily when his boring, depressing life had become complicated.

 ```````````````````````````````````````

Louis was running just a little late. On a normal day, this would have been a hassle, which would have caused him to stress endlessly. He would’ve been cursing at everything and everyone, a frown pulling at his eyebrows, and he’d probably be an ass to everyone for half the day, because being late usually disrupted his routines.

But not today, no. Today, Louis was happy. Despite currently speeding his way to his office, despite having to skip his morning cup of tea, despite waking up late, he wasn’t being a grumpy pain the neck. No, he was all smiles and joy, even as he reached his office, a busy day of work awaiting him.

And it was all because of just one thing- he would be seeing Harry later that day. It was ridiculous how attached he was getting to someone he barely knew, and had only seen twice. And he would probably never admit to anyone else but himself just how eager he was, to see him again today. That one thing he was looking forward to was enough to put him in great mood all day.

He entered the building, smiling brilliantly at everyone who wished him a ‘good morning’, and it was because he was in a professional environment, he refrained himself from skipping all the way to Liam’s office. _You have a reputation, Louis_ , _don’t ruin it_ , he told himself.

As he reached the glass doors to Liam’s office, and he sees that his secretary, Felicity was inside talking to him. He politely knocked and entered anyway, beaming at Liam who had raised his head to look at him. Liam smiled back sweetly.

“I need those mails sent by today, Felicity. You can go now,” he said, nodding at the girl, who smiled at Louis and left. Louis marched straight up to the chairs in front of Liam and sat down, and Liam looked at him, a bit taken aback.

Liam was not only the manager of Payne Corporations, but also Louis’ best friend. So he knew him too well and he was smart; so he was probably wondering what was up with Louis’ chipper mood today, despite running late.

“Good morning Lou. You certainly seem very cheerful today,” Liam predictably noted, smiling kindly at him.

“Morning Liam,” Louis greeted back with enthusiasm, face as bright as the sun. Liam’s smile faded a bit as he continued to look at him with a grin plastered on his face.

“Okayyy…” Liam trailed off a touch awkwardly, as Louis sat for a few moments, doing nothing but smiling.

“Lou stop smiling like that it’s a bit creepy,” Liam finally said and Louis chuckled, feeling his cheeks flush at being pointed out on his obvious mood, and as he thought of the reason behind it.

“Spill, Lou. It’s obvious you’re dying to tell me something,” Liam said with a laugh, as Louis turned to him with wide, happy eyes. Liam leaned forward expectantly in his chair.

“Tell me Liam, is it possible to fall in love in a day? Or two?” was what he blurted out in a dreamy voice he immediately wanted to take back.

“What are you on about?” Liam asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Tell me Liam.”

“Um, okay. I don’t know. It could be possible?” Liam ended his words as a question, confusion evident in his voice.

“Then I’m in love,” Louis sighed dramatically. Liam looked at him with a straight face for two seconds, before breaking off into chuckles, quickly sobering up when he realized he wasn’t kidding.

“Are you serious? You’re in love? With whom? How? When?”  Liam asked with a slightly panicked and worried edge to his tone. Louis rolled his eyes at him.

“Calm down Li. Not literally in love. I just happen to really like this boy,” Louis shrugged nonchalantly (tried), but he had a feeling Liam saw right through him.

“Who?” he asked curiously. Louis smiled returned.

“This boy I met at a bakery. He’s beautiful…and different. There’s something about him that draws me in.”

“Louis…” Liam started off warningly but Louis cut him off, knowing what he was gonna say.

“Yeah yeah Liam, I know what you’re you going to say, to think and act, and not to fall too fast, or I’ll get heartbroken, its dangerous,” Louis rambled in a bored tone. He heard Liam sigh heavily.

“You barely know this boy, Louis, he could be dangerous for you.”

At that though, Louis threw his head back in a loud laugh. “Harry??! Nah, he’s too sweet and shy to be dangerous. Honestly if you saw him, you’d think the same.”

“Okay but Louis, you always fall too quickly-“

“Liam. I’m not literally head over heels in love. I’d call it a major crush, nothing more,” Louis defended. Liam looked seriously at him for one long moment.

“Okay,” he finally gave in with a sigh. “Just…be careful and wise okay? I’m only looking out for you?” Liam said softly. Louis smiled affectionately at his concern.

“Of course Liam. I just… there’s something about him that makes me want to get to know him, and look out for him. I just kinda want to make Harry happy. Maybe I won’t get to be with him or anything, but I just want him happy; it’s this urge I have,” Louis said earnestly. And it was true; he wasn’t over thinking it at the moment. All he knew was someone as beautiful as Harry deserves happiness all the time.

Liam slowly smiled at him, not reassured, but still supportive. “Okay Lou, you do you, mate,” he said warmly, and Louis smiled back at him gratefully.

“So…” Liam said suddenly, eyes twinkling, “when do I get to meet this lover boy of yours?”

Louis scowled at him playfully. “Oi, he isn’t my ‘lover’. And I don’t know Li, he’s not easy to reach out to, and I’m still trying to ease him into being used to me seeing him. In fact, I’m meeting him later today, after work.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’ve been so annoyingly cheerful this morning,” Liam joke, earning him a light kick from Louis under the desk.

“Yeah well…” he mumbled, a little bashful nevertheless, and Liam smiled fondly at his friend.

“Okay Tommo, it was nice discussing your love life and all, but I’ve got to get back to work,” Liam said after a few moments, and Louis nodded, standing up.

“Thanks Liam. I’ll see you later,” he said, and walked out towards his own office, his plans on meeting Harry making his tedious day seem easier. He couldn’t wait to get off work today.

 

Before he knew it, his day had gone by in a whirl, and he had even managed to finish his duties for the day early. He had gone home, changed into something a bit more casual, because he didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb in the middle of a bakery.

Now stood before the glass door of the bakery, Louis took in a giddy breath, and pushed himself inside. There were a few people scattered around and sat at the tables, but his eyes immediately flitted to the display counter where Harry usually stood.

Except, Harry was nowhere to be found. The blonde haired boy he’d seen the other day, and one another person he didn’t recognize were the only ones behind the counters. He was confused; was Harry not working today?

He stepped up to the till where Niall was taking orders anyways. “Hey, um, is Harry here?” he asked a little awkwardly.

“Louis, right? I’m Niall. Harry’s inside,” the boy, Niall, said brightly, and Louis sighed a bit in relief.

“Oh, uh, can I…can you,” he stammered, not knowing how to ask for Harry.

Niall laughed at him. “Okay, I’ll go get him, just go have a seat.” Louis blushed a little, and went to go sit down at a table, while Niall seemed to go inside what looked like a kitchen area.

After a few moments of simply looking around, he saw out of the corner of his eyes, Niall push out Harry gently towards him, Harry scowling at Niall, before grabbing a notepad and coming his way. Louis flashed him a wide grin as soon as he locked eyes with him, and Harry smiled timidly at him as he reached the table, the smile not reaching his eyes. Louis frowned a bit.

“Hey Harry,” Louis greeted him happily anyways. But he sensed something was a little off as Harry steadily avoided his gaze and mumbled a ‘Hi’ void of any emotion back at him.

“What would you like to have?” he asked quietly instead, fidgeting. Louis could feel the restlessness Harry seemed to be struggling with. He wanted to ask him if everything was alright, but he decided that could wait till they were both sat down.

“Same as I have every time, Harry,” he replied, and Harry nodded mutely, and walked back to the front with his head hung low and shoulders slumped. Louis didn’t even know what was troubling Harry, but he already missed his sweet smiles and blushes.

When Harry came back with just one croissant though, Louis’ eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline in confusion.

“Why did you bring only one?” Louis couldn’t help the surprise in his voice, and Harry winced, biting his lip, eyes still not meeting Louis and he couldn’t push away the niggling feeling that he had done something.

“I didn’t want one,” Harry mumbled, so quietly, with a small crease in between his eyebrows, and Louis didn’t like the small tone Harry was using; it made him concerned.

“Well, okay. But sit down Harry,” he said, more like asked, anticipation increasing with every second Harry didn’t respond. Slowly, he shook his head, and Louis froze momentarily; it was the first time Harry had denied his offer. His worry only rose as Harry turned on his heel and started to walk away.

“Harry, wait,” he said, quickly grabbing his hand, and Harry whirled around, flinching and pulling his hand away like he’d been burned, taking a step back as Louis stood up, and he was _hurt._

 _“_ What’s wrong, love?” Louis asked softly, wanting to understand why Harry was being indifferent. It was unsettling and hurt him to see Harry wince at the term of endearment, fiddling with his fingers, and not replying, eyes blank.

A wave of horror crashed over him as a thought occurred to him. _Had he done something wrong?_ “Is it something I did? Did I do something wrong?” he asked in a small voice, wanting nothing more than to reach out, but afraid of pushing Harry further away.

Finally Harry lifted his gaze up to meet Louis’. His eyes were filled with so many emotions Louis couldn’t figure out. Just when he thought Harry would maybe give him some sort of an explanation, he turned away and started speed walking back to the counter.

“Harry, wait!” Louis cried out, following him, anxiety clouding his mind, but Harry seemed to not hear him, or was ignoring him, and walked through the door to the kitchen, leaving him baffled and almost sick to the core.

He leaned against the glass counter, and let out a defeated sigh. He saw Niall approach him.

“What did I do?” he asked wearily. Niall squeezed his shoulders supportively.

“Don’t be harsh on yourself, it probably isn’t your fault,” Niall said, soothingly.

“Then why is he-“

“Harry can be a bit unpredictable. He sometimes draws into himself a little. He’ll be alright soon,” Niall explained. It still didn’t make anything clear to Louis; he was still sure he had something to do with Harry behaving coldly to him, and it made him want to punch himself.

“What do I do?” he asked helplessly. He’d never forgive himself if he caused stress or pain to Harry; all he’d ever wanted was to make the younger boy smile.

“I’d say give it a few days, give him some space. He’ll be back up soon,” Niall reassured, and smiled at him once more before he left to go over to another customer.

Louis sighed despairingly, rubbing his temples. He sincerely hoped he hadn’t messed up, though he couldn’t figure out for the life of him what he had done wrong. _Maybe he had come on too strongly? Had he gone too fast?_

Louis cursed himself as he realized that he had probably scared off Harry by being too eager, too fast. _Way to ruin it, you idiot_ , he scolded himself. Niall was right. Perhaps if he gave it some time, maybe things would work it out. At least he hoped so.

He left the bakery with a heavy heart, hoping with all his might that he hadn’t fucked this up, and praying for a chance to make things alright.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a happy chapter, nope. But hey, isn't it always the darkest before dawn?
> 
> Also, IMPORTANT. this contains self harm, so if you're easily triggered, kindly skip it. I just wanted to put that out here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so hard to write, so if it sucks, well I tried, I don't write sad stuff. and holy shit this is already above 10K words and that's huge for me, and all thanks goes to my best friend, without whom nothing would've happened. angel, if you're reading this, add this to the million reasons I owe everything to you :)
> 
> I've tried my best to write out this as real as possible, barely anything is an exaggeration, believe me, I'd know. Next Chapter might be happier. Maybe.
> 
> Enjoy xx(try to)

Harry was a mess. Granted, he was a mess most of the time, but he was a _mess._ He hadn’t slept the previous night; had nightmares and woke up sweating and feeling lost, and then struggled to fall asleep. So now, getting ready to go his classes, he felt like….a zombie. Well he thought he looked like one too, judging by his bleary eyes, tired face, and wild hair.

He was tired, both emotionally and physically, as he got out of his house, and started driving the short distance to his Uni. He could barely keep himself in tune with his surroundings; he wondered how he could possibly drag himself through that many hours of classes. But the one thing he felt other than tiredness was worry.

Squinting against the morning light, which was harsh on his sleep deprived state, he pulled into the parking lot. He got out and kicked grumpily at the little stones on the pavement as he trudged his way forward. He was worried more than he’d care to admit; the fact that he had pushed Louis away even though Louis wanted to see him may or may not have affected him the whole night.

He sighed heavily as he walked in into the building. It was pointless worrying, he knew that. He had probably fucked up like he usually does, he just wished he could forget anything had happened and move on.

“Harry, mate!” Harry turned around, quickly composing his face into a less anxious one at the sight of his good friend, Ed. Ed walked up to him with a warm grin, and he couldn’t help but put some of the sincerity back into the smile he returned him.

“Hey Ed.”

“Bad sleep?” Ed asked shrewdly, no doubt noticing the bags under his eyes. Harry half shrugged and nodded.

“Couldn’t sleep much,” he muttered, yawning as if on cue. Ed laughed, patting his shoulder sympathetically. “Happens to all of us. But we better hurry along, and try not to fall asleep in the first hour,” he joked, and Harry cracked a small smile at him, as he let himself be lead to the class.

Once they both had sat down, Harry slumped, eyebrows pinched in restlessness, and he worried his lip incessantly as he stared at nothing. He jumped when Ed poked his arm.

“Hey, you okay? You seem really tired,” Ed commented, looking over him and his obvious signs of tiredness.

“I’m fine,” Harry said, rubbing his palm over his face in dejection. This day was gonna be a long one, he thought.

And it certainly seemed to be that way. Harry sat dazed, as if the whole world was resting on his shoulders. The teacher was droning on in the background about something, but he couldn’t focus. He knew he was supposed to be listening, but the lack of sleep and drain of emotions had caught up to him. _He was so, so tired…._

“Styles!”

Harry snapped his neck up, startled, and sat up straight. _What had happened….oh no,_ he thought, as he saw the teacher glaring at him slightly. He’d been caught not paying attention; he was screwed. He felt his neck flush as the class was eerily silent.

“Sorry ma’am?” Harry asked politely. The teacher’s eyes narrowed.

“I said, ‘what is depression?’” she repeated, and Harry blanked. _Depression, huh, irony._ But he froze as he stared right ahead, as he came up short and no _, why was he blank, you’d think experiencing it would help you know the answer, but no_ he couldn’t come up with words to describe the hollowness that had haunted him for so long.

The teacher’s face was growing sterner with every passing second, and Harry hung his head, withering at the gazes on him. Luckily for him, like an angel, Ed spoke up from beside him. “Harry’s not really feeling too well, Ms. Smith.”

Ms. Smith’s face grew concerned. “Harry, is that right? Do you want to go the nurse’s?”

Harry looked up, thanking whatever superior power up there that it was Ms. Smith who taught this class; she was fairly easy going. Any other teacher and Harry would be knee deep in trouble.

“It’s alright ma’am,” he mumbled and she let it go. Harry silently flashed Ed a thankful smile, and he shrugged back. Harry sighed. He was right; today was gonna, for lack of words, suck.

By the end of the day had rolled around, Harry was ready to tear out his own hair out of frustration of lack of sleep. Ed caught up to him in the hallway.

“Harry mate, is there something bothering you? You were so out of it all day?” he asked concernedly and Harry pushed his hair out of his face.

“I’m okay. Really.”

“You’re sure?” Ed pressed on, and Harry sighed heavily.

“Yes. I’m just tired,” he said as an excuse, and after saying a bye, got into his car and drove home. In an hour or so, he had to be at work, and the day seemed endless, threatening to overwhelm him.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

Work, work, work. Louis was buried under pile upon pile of work. And normally he would do it cheerfully. Call him a workaholic, but he enjoyed his job, never really one to grumble about it. But today, was an exception; he had a permanent frown etched into his face. And he had a feeling a lot of ‘exception days’ would likely follow. _Aaggh._

All because of one stupid curly haired boy with dimpled smiles and soft blushes. Or lack of it more like, in his last visit. It was pathetic, but he was still hung up and hurt on Harry’s sudden indifference towards him and _no Louis, not this again._

It had plagued his thoughts all day, so much so the guilt and dread refused to leave him, and had interfered with his work. He had dragged himself through work and had received quizzical looks from many, because it wasn’t like him to be miserable. He rubbed his temples; the worry, worry that he had somehow caused Harry stress, was eating away at him.

He looked up wearily as he heard a knock on the door, and Liam came in, and sat down in front of him. Louis arched his brows at him as Liam said nothing, just staring at him worryingly.

“So…..what’s wrong?”

 _Ugh, damn Liam, he was too clever_. He would give him so much shit if he knew.

“Nothing Liam. I guess I’m just feeling a bit under the weather,” he said and well, he wasn’t strictly lying, was he?

“Yeah, the staff was telling me you weren’t looking too good. Are you coming down with a flu? You look a peaky. Do you wanna go to visit the doctor?” Liam immediately turned into the mother hen he was, and Louis chuckled a bit.

“No Liam, I’ll be alright. I’ve got to do work.”

“Why don’t you take the day off?” Liam asked sweetly.

“No Liam, I couldn’t”-

“Yes you can. It’s fine. I’ll handle the rest.” Liam said firmly. Louis thought about it a minute with a frown, before sighing.

“Okay. Thanks Liam.”

“Take care, Louis,” Liam said softly, and left. Louis gathered his things, and left the building. As he sat in his car, for a brief minute, he toyed with the idea of popping into the bakery, just to see if Harry would be there. But then Niall’s words came to his mind and a pang of guilt hit him. _No. he was going to wait a while before trying._

As much as it killed him to sit and worry, he never wanted to see Harry flinch at his sight, at least, not for a few days. He just really, _really_ hoped Harry was okay. He could do this, he could wait, if it meant things would be alright.

`````````````````````````````````````````````

Harry was quickly losing hope. Not that he had had any, to begin with, but whatever remained, had quickly run out. It was only a few more minutes till closing time, and Louis hadn’t come. He hadn’t expected him to, not after yesterday, but still, it crushed him, because he was the reason for it, and he blamed himself.

Harry sat slouched on his stool, eyes downcast, and face sullen. He didn’t have anyone to look happy for, so he was unhappy and he didn’t try to hide it. Niall had noticed, of course, but hadn’t asked anything, except for glance at him sympathetically, and he had a sneaking suspicion Niall already knew why he was sulking.

 _Stupid. You’re so fucking stupid._ Harry was berating himself as he heard the little bell chime. He didn’t look up, he was so exhausted. Until he caught a glimpse of someone in a suit in front of him and _oh my god it couldn’t be…_

“Louis?” he snapped his head up hopefully, but came crashing down as he saw who it was. Nick. The universe was mocking him; as if his day couldn’t possibly get worse.

“Louis? Who’s that, your boyfriend?” Nick taunted, a mean smirk pulling up his lips. Harry opened his mouth to retort but Nick bet him to it.

“Oh wait, you wouldn’t have any! Who’d want to be with you?” Nick spat out in cruel glee, and Harry’s words died on his lips and he just scowled at the ground. Today had to be the day where he had to endure more insults, didn’t it?

“I mean, look at you! You always look like someone died,” Nick carried on and Harry gasped weakly. Nick dropped his voice, and smiling a twisted grin, “You look like _you_ died.”

Harry couldn’t help it, all the stress and worries from the whole day had made him more vulnerable than usual, and he let out a dry sob.

It happened to be then, that Niall came upon the scene, and one look at a sneering Nick, and a helpless Harry, he figured out what had happened.

“I don’t care WHO you are, but GET OUT!” Niall shouted, quickly coming over and draping a protective arm around Harry’s shoulders and glaring at Nick.

“Such a crybaby, you cannot even defend yourself because you know it’s true”-

“Get. The. Fuck. Out. NOW!” Niall said, voice dangerously low and something must have shown on his face because after scoffing at them in disgust, he left. Niall immediately wrapped his arms around Harry, rubbing his back and murmuring softly at him.

Harry didn’t cry; he willed his tears back and instead took in sharp breaths, pressing his face into Niall’s shoulder. He pulled back after a few seconds, and Niall looked at him squarely.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be. I think I’m heading home though,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. Niall nodded understandingly. “Yes, of course Haz.”

Harry gave him a small smile, and left home. His drive home was a blur, so much, everything was clouding his mind, and he was honestly surprised he made it home alive. He didn’t know what he was thinking; he didn’t know how he reached home or how he found himself where he was sat now. In the bathroom, against a wall in the corner, shaking.

He had stripped down to his boxers and sunk to the cold floor, and sat with his knees drawn up to his chest and head fallen onto them. He was trembling slightly all over, unable to stop himself; it was not because of the cold floor, it was because of how vulnerable and raw he felt.

He finally, _finally,_ let the tears fall, tears he’d been holding back for too long. There, in a corner of a big bathroom, he sat hunched, sobbing loudly and unabashedly into the space, not caring how loud he was being, because he was alone. No one would hear him, no one would hear his sobs bouncing off the walls, like he’d always been and felt.

Nick’s words had hit him hard. He knew he didn’t deserve any happiness, or love, in any form, he wasn’t worthy enough, no one would want him. But to hear it from someone else confirming his worst fears, it was overpowering and….Harry found himself gasping in agony, because it hurt too much, the emptiness and cold gripped him, chilling him to his core, he felt like the walls were closing in on him.

He had driven him away. He had driven Louis away. He had kicked away his own happiness. He could’ve been normal for once, but no, _you had to be too anxious and fuck it all up even before it could start._ Harry didn’t know why he thought the things he did, or why he felt the way he did, he didn’t know anything anymore….all he knew was the pain was overpowering, it pressed down on him from everywhere and he needed to let it all out, crying wasn’t helping. He subconsciously dug his nails hard into his thighs, barely registering the pain.

Pain. Pain was all he felt, a muted silence deafening him, and he didn’t know how to cope; _never knew how to cope._ The sadness he was feeling was overwhelming, too much and he needed to take it out on himself, _craved to take it out on himself._ His hands found the blade next to him blindly.

“I will never be loved,” he half sobbed, half mumbled, tears rolling down his scrunched up face incessantly. He was saying it, unaware that it wasn’t just in his head, that he was actually voicing out his deepest fears.  “ _No one will ever love me…. N-no one w-will ever l-love m-me,”_ he sobbed, hitting his head on his knee, because it was too much.

He brought the blade up to his thigh, resting it on the skin there, not moving it, just pressing it in a bit. Numerous scars, old and recent marked his thighs as pale pink and red cuts, a reminder of all the times he had hated himself so much he felt like he needed to cause himself harm. He took in a shallow breath.

“You deserve it…” was his last thought as he pressed in the blade a little more deep, before sharply slicing it across his skin, a small gasp leaving his lips against his will at the stinging pain it left him. He watched in half fascination as a few dots of blood appeared along the cut. In a few seconds, it had become a line of blood, one drop slowly rolled down his thigh. Though his eyes were still brimmed with tears, his chest eased up just a little.

He didn’t hesitate before harshly dragging the blade across his skin a couple more times, each time accompanying it with a reason. “ _You’re fucked up”_ a cut on his left thigh. _“You’re fat and ugly”_ two more joined the previous one. “ _You’re a failure”_ he dragged the blade across the same spot several times; making it hurt just that much more.

And finally, drawing in a shuddery breath, he placed the tip of the blade against his inner thigh, where he knew it would hurt most. “ _Louis would never want to see you again,”_ he cried out, a mere whisper, and slowly, yet harshly dragged it across his skin, drawing it out, a broken whimper of pain escaping him, because that one hurt the most _and he fucking deserved it._

He put the blade off to the side, and stared at his thighs, which now had lines of blood covering them and a short laugh left his mouth, not really a laugh, but a hollow sound echoing his emptiness. He didn’t know for how long he sat like that, doing, thinking, feeling nothing. He always felt lighter after he cut, and he knew that was fucked up, but he was too far gone, too in deep to care.

Finally when the blood started drying, he pulled himself up, and into the shower. He stood for a long time under the hot water with his head low, the water scalding his raw skin. He welcomed the pain as he washed himself with soap, and the soap that had run down his thighs made him hiss and wince in pain, because his cuts were fresh and stinging.

Once he was done, he patted himself dry carefully, feeling strangely hollow and calm. He chose to just wear boxers or else his cuts would be irritated. He knew that pulling on jeans the next morning would be a pain, but it’d be a reminder for his stupidity, he thought, as he climbed into bed. He grabbed the pillow next to him, hugging it to his chest tightly, as he curled up under the duvet. He made himself small, hands clutching the pillow, his breaths evening out, and he refused to think at all, and slowly fell into sleep, drained from his whole day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> less angst, more sweetness. x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long because exams are shitty. Hopefully its one of those 'worth the wait' chapters. if not, oh well....  
> Nothing to say about the chapter, just keep in mind, that in this, Harry does have a lot of anxiety, hence his constant mood shifts.  
> Once again, I only have my best friend to thank, for her constant support, and of course, for brilliantly contributing to this fic so far.  
> Also, we're overwhelmed by the response to this so far, we started off not expecting anything, so thank you, and enjoy :)

Louis knew this was a bad idea. Standing outside the glass door of the bakery, even as he stood contemplating his actions, he knew this could go horribly wrong. Yet, after all, he had always been a bit reckless, always picking heart over mind. And right now, though he’s mind warned him, his heart stupidly raced and made his decision for him.

After giving Harry one long, stressful week of space, Louis wanted to try and patch things up. He was getting restless, so he decided he was done waiting, and came up with careful plans on how to approach Harry slowly but surely. Which brought him to where he stood now, veins thrumming with anticipation, a casual greeting waiting upon his lips, and an apology flower carefully hidden within his jacket.

With a slight huff, he pushed through the door, and the warm heavenly smell of the bakery hit him, filling him with a strange sort of giddiness. It only seemed to increase as he spotted Harry at the counter in a large grey sweater. Louis walked towards him slowly, hesitantly; Harry hadn’t seen him yet, his eyes fixed at a spot amongst the display of cakes.

 _Well here goes nothing…._ “Hi Harry.” Louis watched as Harry looked up sharply, eyes going wide as he saw who it was. Louis’ heart sunk a bit; he could already see him tense, and that wouldn’t do. He took in a breath.

“I’d like to have a blueberry muffin please,” Louis said calmly, airily, trying not to let his eagerness at seeing Harry show. He watched as Harry’s shoulders loosened a bit, and he nodded, a small frown of confusion on his face. And not saying anything, he picked out the muffin, and handed it on a plate to him.

“Thank you,” Louis said, paying him, and smiling at him softly, a touch sadly, before taking his plate to a table. As he sat there eating(rather slowly, so sue him, he was dragging it out), he sneakily glanced at Harry, and was surprised to see Harry was watching him intensely, still frowning, though he didn’t look upset. Louis sighed in relief.

Once he was done, he stood up, and glanced at the counter, to see Harry wasn’t currently there. Perfect. He quickly hurried over there, and after making sure that he wasn’t around, he retrieved the flower and the note which he had concealed in the inner pocket of his jacket.

He gently smoothened out the note, and he rested both the note and the flower on the counter. It was a long stem of a purple hyacinth, a lovely shade of lavender, a color Harry liked. The note said, ‘Harry, this is just a little something to say I’m sorry, for anything I’ve done to upset you. A purple hyacinth signifies regret. Besides, its in your favorite color. I truly am sorry x’

It wasn’t much, but he was only trying to reach out to Harry. Without farther waiting around to see if Harry was coming back, he swiftly left the place. He smiled a little, despite the anxious know in his stomach; this couldn’t go too wrong, right?

 

The next day, he found himself in the same place as he did before; outside the huge glass doors of the bakery. Except this time he was hesitating. He had a problem. He wanted to go in, meet Harry, but also leave his gift behind without having to give him directly. And this time it was a big bouquet of the prettiest flowers; just how was he supposed to go in and not draw attention to himself?

So he stood there in despair, helplessly staring inside. Luckily or not for him, out of nowhere Niall popped up on the other side and seemed to spot him from inside, and his lips quirked up into a knowing smirk as he eyes the bouquet in his hands. Louis quickly hid it behind his back but Niall didn’t miss it; he came outside the bakery to where he was stood.

“Uh, hi,” Louis mumbled awkwardly. Niall laughed good-naturedly.

“You’re a determined one, aren’t you? Still trying to woo him then?” Louis flushed pink.

“Um. I just…I only want to see him happy,” he said, shoulders slumping in defeat. Niall nudged him.

“I think its sweet. Harry loved the flower yesterday, that was from you too, wasn’t it? He tried to make out as it meant nothing, but it was obvious otherwise,” Niall told him, and a little tension seemed to flow out of Louis; his plan was working then.

“So…these are for Harry I assume,” Niall said, pointing out the flowers in his hand. Louis nodded.

“Yeah. But I don’t want to give them to him directly, don’t wanna overwhelm him.”

“Ah. That’s very considerate, Louis. Tell you what, you go inside and talk to Harry, while I’ll go keep these in the little room where the staff hangs out. I’ll bring them out and give it to him when you’re gone,” Niall finished off, his face lighting up in innocent excitement. Louis smiled slowly.

“Brilliant, Niall! Thanks mate,” he said, and handed over the bunch of flowers to Niall.

“Its nothing. Now go on, go in and distract him, while I go keep this in the room.”

Louis clapped his back, and went in first, immediately making a bee line for Harry. Harry, like yesterday, was apparently lost in his own world.

“Hi Harry,” Louis greeted him brightly, and maybe a bit too brightly, because Harry jumped a bit, and looked up at him startled. Oops.

“Sorry love. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he spoke much more softly, like Harry was something beautiful and fragile that would break if he was too loud. Harry only looked back at him, not frowning this time, and Louis counted that as a victory.

This time though, he only ordered a cup of takeaway coffee, as he spotted Niall sneak into the little room at the back. Harry wordlessly prepared him his order. After paying him, Louis smiled at him.

“Thanks Harry. Have a nice day,” he said, and turned to leave before he heard Harry mumble, “Thanks”.

Louis turned back around to see Harry peeking at him through his lashes, face open, and he didn’t know why he was thanking him; whether it was for wishing him a nice day, or yesterday’s gift, or both. He only smiled back in return and went out the door.

But he didn’t leave. He stood outside of the bakery, to the side, where he could still see Harry from where he stood, but Harry wouldn’t easily spot him. He watched as Niall came out and handed him the bouquet of flowers.

A look of genuine surprise and amazement crossed Harry’s face, as he touched the flowers gently. A small smile made its way across his lips as he read the note which said ‘I thought of you when I saw these beautiful flowers, so I thought you must have them. You’re far more beautiful than them, though. Louis x’.  By the end of it, Harry’s face had bloomed into the warmest, sweetest smile and Louis could feel the same happiness swell within him.

As he watched Harry gently admire the flowers, he saw a small white flower fall from the bunch. His breath caught, and he stared in amazement, as Harry picked it up, and after twirling it between his fingers for a moment, he tucked it delicately into his curls. Louis thought he could cry at the action, as Harry went inside the little room, with the bouquet clutched to his chest.

As he walked away from the shop, sipping his warm coffee, seeing Harry’s smile made his toes curl in warmth more than the coffee did.

 

 

Harry was anxious. Yesterday, he would’ve been caught up in his own thoughts, but not today, no. today he was an anxious mess, though not necessarily a bad kind, it was a bit more pleasant. Because, he’d seen a pattern.  He had seen a pattern, with Louis coming here and his gifts. So he was waiting, more alert than before, buzzing with anticipation, and hope.

He was surprised, to say the least when Louis had showed up two days back. He thought Louis would never want to see him again. Yet, despite pushing him away, he had returned, and what confused him, was how different and careful Louis was being with him. And then there were the gifts; he was still amazed by the sweet actions.

A flower picked out by its meaning, another bouquet for him, along with the sweetest notes…Harry may or may not have embarrassingly teared up (both because of the thoughtfulness of it as well as the guilt). He had been a terrible person, and yet here Louis was, being nothing but sweet and thoughtful, and Harry didn’t know what to do with it, didn’t know how to deal with the attention he was receiving. _Louis was something else entirely._

Speaking of which, he sat up straighter as the bell chimed and Louis came in, immediately locking eyes and beaming at him. And he’d be a heartless person to not smile back at that, so he returned him a small smile as Louis walked up to the counter, and did not miss the relief on his face at that. _Shit. He was a shitty person._

Harry surprised even himself by speaking first. “Hey Louis,” he mumbled, voice a bit guarded, but sincere regardless. He caught how Louis’ eyebrows shot up in surprise, demeanor shifting to a happier one just from his greeting.

“Hey Harry. How is your day going?” he asked casually, leaning and resting an elbow on the glass counter.

“ ‘S okay,” he shrugged. _Better, maybe, now that you’re here._

“Mine was dull. But its better, seeing you,” Louis carried on, rubbing the back of his neck a touch shyly, and Harry could feel his cheeks heat up. _Damn it, so much for trying to be indifferent._

“What can I get you?” he asked instead, fiddling with his fingers nervously. He looked up at Louis’ face, and for a second he was stunned at the sheer warmth that was shining in Louis’ eyes. _He was so fucked, of course his stupid heart wouldn’t listen to his rational mind._

“Just a…..well, you can pick. Choose one of your favorites,” he said with a little bounce. Harry was thrown off guard for a minute; _his favorite?_ _Louis wanted him to pick? What even was his favorite?_

Harry let his gaze wander over the array of bakery items and cakes before settling on the softest and his best batch of chocolate chip cookies. He picked three out, and lay them on a plate and took it over to the table where Louis had gone to sit.

Louis’ eyes lit up as he saw them. “Thanks Harry. Good choice.” He nodded at him approvingly, and Harry ducked his head, hurrying back to his counter after he’d been paid, leaving him to eat. It was then that Niall appeared out of their large kitchen space.

“Harry, can you just take out the muffins from the oven and set them out to cool? I’ve to go get the frosting done on these cupcakes, and the customer who ordered them will be here in a bit!” Niall rushed, face pink from the heat, and he was stressed.

“Yeah, no problem,” Harry shrugged, and went inside, and set out the muffins carefully to cool. Once he was back at the counter, he saw that Louis’ table was empty. He quickly looked towards the door, where Louis was leaving, after throwing him a cheeky smile. Harry was puzzled; was he missing out on something?

He went to collect the tray from Louis’ table in bewilderment, when he noticed a package left there. He picked it up, briefly worrying that Louis had, by mistake left it behind, till a note addressed to him caught his eye. It read, “Harry, I know this is your favorite film, you had mentioned it, but you had also said you had lost your previous copy of it, so here you go! Louis x”.

 _No he didn’t_ …. Harry tore open the packaging hastily, and sure enough, there was a DVD of his favorite film, Love Actually. He took in a short breath, eyes nearly welling up because Louis was so sweet. He couldn’t believe Louis had remembered one such tiny detail about him, couldn’t believe he cared enough to pay attention to him. He clutched the Dvd in a tight grip, unable to stop smiling at how thoughtful Louis was. No one ever bought him stuff out of the blue like that.

Yet he was confused. Why was Louis being so sweet and considerate? He didn’t deserve it, he had been so shitty to him. He was filled with questions. Would Louis come back again? Well, that one he’d have to wait and see.

 

And wait he did the next day, but no sign of him. Granted, it was still early, but Harry couldn’t help but hope, although he told himself not to.

“Excuse me mister?” Harry looked up to see who had called him, and frowned when he saw no one. That was weird, who had called….oh. He smiled at the little, blonde haired boy who had apparently called him.

“Yes, sir?” Harry asked playfully, playing along, and the boy broke into a toothy grin.

“Are you Harry?" Harry nodded confusingly; how did this boy know his name, and who was he?

“I’ve got this for you,” he exclaimed in his small voice, and stuck out a bright pink note at him. Harry’s frown deepened as he stooped and took the note from the boy.

“Thank you sweetie,” he said, and the boy ran outside after once more smiling at him brightly. _Well, that was strange._ He looked down at the pink note in his hand, heart skipping a beat in slight excitement as he recognized the now somewhat familiar handwriting. _Louis_. And sure enough, it was signed off as Louis at the end, with a smiley face.

“Smile,” the note said with a big smiley face drawn next to it, and Harry’s lips twitched into a smile involuntarily. “You’re beautiful even when you’re sad, but your smile makes you even more beautiful,” he read, and his cheeks warmed at the sincerity he could feel from the words. He didn’t deserve Louis’ attention.

A few minutes later, a customer came to pay him. After she was done, she also handed him a bright yellow note, smiling at him in a way that made him feel like she knew something he didn’t. What was going on? As soon as she left, he glanced at the note, and yet again, it was Louis.

He looked around sharply, trying to see if Louis was there, but he couldn’t find him, and he hadn’t entered the bakery at all. _How even??_ Shaking his head, he read the note, which said:

‘Did you know you’re beautiful? Because if you didn’t, then know that you are. Just as beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. And you don’t quite see it, which makes you more beautiful to me x” Harry gasped a bit at the openness in the note; this was one of the loveliest thing anyone had bothered to ever tell him. He put that note too in his pocket; he couldn’t believe the kindness that was Louis.

And that wasn’t the last one either. He got another three notes, all from different customers, and he had no idea how Louis had gotten people to do this; he was a bit in awe.

One bright green one had said, ‘Anybody who doesn’t treat you right is a)stupid b)Um, stupid? c)Definitely stupid. You only deserve the best and the happiest things.’ And it had made him smile so hard, a few customers had looked at him weirdly.

A neon orange one had said, ‘I think I forgot all of my alphabets when I saw you, except U R A Q T.’ and a winky face, and Harry had snorted and shook with silent, amused laughter at that one, despite himself. Because that was definitely a pick up line straight from the books, and he couldn’t believe just how far Louis was going, to make his day.

The last, blue colored one, read, ‘everything about you is extremely sweet, Harry. Sweet smile, sweet words, sweet blush, sweet face, sweet personality, just overall SWEET. Why, even the things you bake are sweet. Sweet things make me happy and I guess that’s why you do too.’ Harry had stared at it in stunned silence, not even being able to grasp the thought. _He made Louis happy? He was cold, unpredictable, sad and he made Louis happy? How was that even possible?_

It was as he was sitting in the small room at the back in helpless confusion, that Niall walked in. Harry turned to him with wide, desperate eyes.

“Niall! All day I’ve been getting these”-

“Notes? Yeah, I noticed. I got one for you too,” Niall cut him off with a devilish and sneaky grin.

“What?! Is Louis here?” he asked in a rush. Niall shook his head.

“Nope. He left as soon as he gave me this, to give it to you. Here ya go.”

Harry snatched the white note, which was decorated with little stars. He could already feel his smile widening as he read the words, ‘if you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I’ll sail the world to find you. Cause you can count on me like 1.2,3…” his cheeks hurt from smiling.

Those, were the lyrics to a song he knew well. Louis was basically telling him he could count on him and Harry _knew_ that….but some part of him was just not ready to open up and let him in. he turned over the note and gasped. There, on the other side, was a phone number, followed by ‘if you ever need me, or want to talk, call me, no matter when it is. Louis x”

“He…he gave his number,” he muttered disbelievingly. Niall nudged him.

“He’s a very thoughtful lad. Are you gonna call him? Niall asked curiously. Harry pondered over this a bit, biting his lip. _Would he?_ He couldn’t imagine himself calling Louis; the thought made his insides twist in anxiety. He didn’t want to be annoying. He didn’t want to be a bother. Nope, he wasn’t gonna call, well, unless he really needed to.

“Maybe,” he said though, not wanting Niall to persist if he said no. he tucked the note safely into his pocket. Louis was sweet and an amazing person; Harry would never take someone like that for granted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry wasn’t okay. He found himself in a situation that was all too familiar. It was probably around 3:00 am, and he was sat hunched over in his bed in the dark, hating himself for putting himself in this. He couldn’t breathe, his mind was on an overdrive, everything from earlier catching up to him. Dark nights were the worst, when you have nothing else to distract you from your own thoughts.

Today, after his classes, a couple of guys had ganged up on him. And though they didn’t physically hurt him, their words were harsh enough of a blow. He knew why he was targeted; because he was weak and never fought back. They made sure to tell him that too.

All through the rest of the day, he hadn’t let himself think. But now, when it was dark and quiet, the sound of his thoughts were far too loud to ignore. Cutting words; ‘pathetic’ ‘weak’ ‘ugly’, were jumping out at him. He wasn’t even aware he was rocking back and forth in small movements, he had to focus on attempting to breathe easier, but it wasn’t really working.

The last thing he had heard before he had stumbled away from them with tears, was, “Aww, are you gonna run to Mommy, crying? Oh wait, no one probably even cares!” and echoes of cruel, mocking laughter ringing in his ears. And that’s what had hit home, that was what made him gasp weakly now.

No one really cared.  He could fall off the face of the earth, and no one would care. The truth of it was painful; Harry’s head felt heavy with the weight of it, and he helplessly stared into the dark with silent tears spilling.

“Weak…pathetic…d-don’t deserve anything….should not even exist…” he didn’t realize he was muttering out broken words and he needed to do something, something which would lessen the weight on him. He didn’t know what to do; he was desperate to get out of the headspace he had fallen into.

It hit him out of nowhere; _Louis._ Even as he was considering it, he knew it was a bad idea. It was night, when everyone would normally be asleep. Calling Louis would have the potential to tear down the walls he had put up. He would hate him for being annoying. This could end terribly. But he had nothing to lose, did he?

And for one of the rare times, his heart made him a right decision. Fuck it, he was gonna call Louis. Maybe he wouldn’t pick up, maybe he would hate him, but his need for the presence of someone else overpowered it all. It was worth a try, he thought, as he switched on the lamp and briefly scrambled to find the note with the number, and he switched it off again, plunging the room into darkness as he dialed the number into his phone.

He held his breath nervously for a moment, finger hovering over the call button. _Here goes…_ and he pressed call, and anxiously brought it up to his ear, biting the corner of his thumb, nerves wracking his body, trying to settle himself. As each second of ringing passed, his heart dropped a bit lower, disappointment pooling at the pit of his stomach. _He isn’t gonna answer, he’s not._

But his breath hitched as he heard the ringing stop, and the line being picked up on the other side. _Oh God what does he say, he didn’t think this through, what to say…._ He heard heavy breathing at the end, and Harry swallowed his nerves.

“Hello?”

“…yeah? Who’s this?” he heard Louis’ sleepy, raspy voice and he wasn’t more relieved to hear it than now, for a second forgetting what had made him cave in call, after two days.

“H-harry,” he stammered, still a bit nervous. There was a pause.

“Harry?!?,” Louis asked, sounding more alert than before, traces of sleep leaving his voice, “Oh my God, I never thought you’d call!”

“I”- Harry tried weakly.

“I’m so sorry Harry. I don’t know what I did to upset you, but I’m so so sorry, if you’d give me just another chance to make it up to you…thank god you called, you had me so worried! I”- Louis was rushing, tone heavily apologetic, and Harry felt worse.

“Lou”-

“Why didn’t you call earlier? Wait. Why are you calling, now at… 3:35??”

“Louis. _Please,”_ he said brokenly, voice betraying just how shitty he was feeling.

“Oh Harry. Is everything alright?” Louis asked, voice immediately dropping to a soothing murmur, tone soft in concern, and perhaps that was what made Harry decide to be honest for once; he’d face its consequences if he came to it.

“No. No I’m not, I can’t breathe.”

“Harry love, just try and focus on me alright? Now, _breathe.”_  Harry anchored himself to Louis’ voice, his words, and took in a sharp, shaky breath.

Louis guided him through it. “Are you breathing for me love? Follow my words, breathe in deep, hold…and now slowly let go. That’s it. Keep doing it for me Harry.” After a few minutes of listening to Louis’ repeated instructions, Harry felt his breathing return to a level close enough to normal.

“Are you feeling better?” Louis asked, yawning, and Harry felt so bad for waking him up at such an unearthly hour.

“Yeah.” He waited a bit, just wanting to lay out his worries for a bit, out in the open, because as much as he tried to deny it, Louis made him feel undeniably safe, in a strange way. Maybe it was because he was one of the few who willingly cared.

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

 _Screw it_ ….”Am I…am I worthy?” he asked, feeling small, lost. It was a simple question, weighed down with so much meaning.

“Oh _babe._ Of course you are,” Louis spoke earnestly, voice just above a whisper.

“I’m not!” he cried in painful conviction, words tumbling out of him, “I’m not worthy”-

“Harry”-

“I-I don’t deserve anything”-

“Harry wait”-

“I’m sorry Lou”-

“Babe listen”-

“I’m sorry I’m not worthy, I’m not enough”-

“Haz, listen”-

“I’m sorry for being a pathetic excuse of a person. I’m sorry for annoying you right now I’m sorry”-

“ _Baby, please.”_ Harry stopped at that, feeling overwhelmed.

“You are worthy, and so much more. You deserve everything good in life. You are so much more beautiful than you know. Above all, you deserve to be happy, I mean it,” Louis said, emphasizing, and fresh tears filled Harry’s eyes.

“That’s not true!”

“It is. I wouldn’t lie to you. I’d do anything to make you see that, love.”

“Okay,” Harry said simply, choosing to let himself believe that just for this one time; he was too weak to protest.

“Do you want anything, love?” Louis asked, and Harry couldn’t believe how kind he was being.

“Just…talk. Please? I just want to listen.” He was vulnerable, he couldn’t help himself.

“Of course Harry. Anything,” Louis murmured soothingly, and he didn’t know how long he sat there like that with his phone pressed to his ear, Louis’ voice soothing his frazzled nerves and calming him down, nearly lulling him to sleep with soft spoken words and praise, and stories told in whispered tones.

“Louis?” he said after a while, sleep beginning to pull at him.

“Yes love?”

“Can you…like…please don’t hang up?” he pleaded, feeling a bit silly, but afraid he’d plummet right back down otherwise.

“Of course, Haz. Go to sleep, I’ll be on the line,” he assured. _He isn’t real. Humans aren’t this angelic._

“Only…only for a little while, only till I fall asleep, I know it’s too much to ask for”-

“Harry. It’s okay. Get some sleep love.”

“Okay Lou,” Harry whispered, and settled down in bed, and he fell asleep to Louis humming something unknown.

About an hour later, Harry woke up enough, to hear Louis’ even, deep breathing, and soft snuffling snores from the other side. He smiled sleepily.

“Louis? Lou?” he asked quietly.

“…huh? Yeah?”

“You can hang up. Thank you so much,” he drawled in his sleep ridden voice.

“Its nothing, Harry. I’ll see you soon. Or not. Only if you want to.” Harry could sense the silent hope in his tone.

“I’d like that,” he replied breathily.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” he breathed, closing his eyes.

“Goodnight then, Harry. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight Louis.” And the line clicked off at the other end. Harry fell back into a peaceful sleep. Sweet dreams indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long ughhhh. But hopefully the fluff makes up for it. quick word of thanks, to anyone who has read so far, and I cannot believe this is nearly 20k, believe me, we never thought it'd reach that far, it was at max, to be like an extended one shot. I'm glad anyways.
> 
> Credits for the ideas for this fluffy chapter goes, undoubtedly to my best friend, to whom I owe anything this fic has achieved so far.
> 
> Nothing to specifically note in this, its a cute chapter, so enjoy :)

When Harry woke up the next morning, he found himself peaceful and smiling sleepily. All of that quickly turned into despair, as yesterday night’s events caught up to him. He had had a panic attack of sorts, _and oh my god he had called Louis!_

He checked his phone which was beside him, and saw that he was running a bit late, and that he had two missed calls and a text from Louis. Promptly ignoring those, he tumbled out of bed, his heart thudding in his chest and mind racing. Pure mortification struck him as he remembered how vulnerable and open he had been to Louis yesterday and _no this could not be happening. What was he thinking?_

 _What on earth had made him call Louis in the middle of the night, and be so embarrassingly open, he_ thought in horror, while haphazardly pulling on clothes and getting ready. He had made a fool out of himself.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment as a wave of horror crashed over him at a thought: _what if Louis came today, and like, talked to him? Oh god what would he do,_ he could feel mortification seep into his bones just thinking about it. Well, if he had plans of keeping distance between him and Louis, that went down the drain pretty quickly.

But did he really want to keep a distance? Sure, he had built up walls, letting no one in, but hadn’t Louis done enough to show him that he really cared? He didn’t know anymore.

As he somehow distractedly drove to the bakery, the only thing he was chanting in his head was ‘ _Please can Louis not come today its too early please.’_  As he saw Niall, he quickly wiped away any signs of fidgeting from his face, replacing it with a huge grin in its place. “Hey Niall!” he called out brightly. Well, tried.

“Heyyy, and what’s up? What’s going on?” Niall asked, straight to the point and _damn it. Why did Niall have to be so smart?_

“Uh, nothing. Nothing, I’m fine,” he said, trying to sound convincing but his voice coming out a pitch higher than usual. Niall saw right through it but shrugged.

“That, is not true, but okay, as you say Harry. Go get started on your shift then,” he said nonchalantly, and walked off into the kitchen. Harry let out a sigh of relief, the whole of him tense nevertheless, preparing for the confrontation he’d have to deal with, if Louis came by to visit.

And just as Harry feared (well not really feared, more like anticipated), after an hour or so, Louis came into the shop, as radiant as ever. Harry’s lips automatically stretched into a smile before it hit him. _Oh no. Oh no no no he’s got to hide, he needs to hide he couldn’t do this._ Except for the fact that he seemed to be rooted to the spot, eyes wide.

 _Oh well, too late,_ he thought frantically, as Louis immediately seeked him out and met his eyes; even from the distance, Harry could see Louis’ already large grin grow impossibly bigger. _I’m a major embarrassment on two legs walking the earth,_ he thought in despair, frozen in spot and lightly trembling, not knowing what to do.

“Hi Harry,” Louis greeted him enthusiastically once he was stood in front of him with a brilliant smile, and that was what broke Harry out of his stupor.

“Uh, hi…..um, bye!” he stuttered out without thinking, a pang of remorse going through him as Louis’ face fell, eyebrows pinching in confusion. _Oh no._

“Uh, what? Harry, I thought yesterday”- Louis started off but Harry cut him off with a nervous chuckle, face flushing at how needy he had probably sounded yesterday, and _no he couldn’t do this, couldn’t stand around and feel normal under Louis’ intent gaze._ He quickly backtracked into the kitchen, breathing heavy, ignoring Louis’ repeated calls of “Harry, wait!” _He needs to leave, and now. He couldn’t face Louis at the moment; it was too much, too soon._

“Uh, Niall?” he called out in a bit of panic. Niall looked up at him from where he was busy baking, and raised an eyebrow at him shifting from foot to foot.

“Can I, uh, go back home early? I don’t feel too well,” he said desperately, and well, it wasn’t strictly a lie. Niall gave him a onceover, his expression morphing into one of concern.

“Why, you do look a little flushed and feverish. I guess you can go home, the rest of us will manage just fine,” Niall replied sympathetically, and Harry nodded rapidly and hurried back out to the front, where a very confused and worried Louis was still there. _Could the ground just swallow him up already, Louis must think he’s such a baby._

“Harry, what happened”- Louis began to ask, but it fell on deaf ears as Harry, trying his hardest to ignore the pleading voice, left the bakery in a hurry, without even glancing back. He heaved out a huge breath once he stepped outside.

 _That was so close._ He felt terrible for the way he acted, the brief image of Louis’ hurt face flashing in his mind, and he clenched his eyes shut at the regret. But he simply didn’t know how to face Louis as vulnerable as he was. He got in his car, and drove home quickly, shoulders sagging in defeat.  _He was pathetic._

 

Louis was confused. No, scratch that, he was fucking baffled. _What had just happened? Why had Harry avoided him like that, despite yesterday? Why did he storm off in a hurry? he hadn’t done anything wrong this time, he really thought he was getting somewhere with him for the previous days. Ugh this is maddening._ He tugged at his hair in frustration and helplessness.

It was at this moment Niall came out, and upon spotting his weary face, a sort of understanding dawned on his face. He came towards him, shaking his head in exasperation, and muttering, “…for fucks sake, he is an idiot I swear…”

“Hey Niall,” Louis greeted, a bit less cheery than he was, minutes ago.

“Hey Louis. So that’s why Harry claimed he was ill, and rushed home,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean? He went home because of me?” Louis himself felt sick at the thought of Harry leaving the place because seeing him made him uncomfortable.

“No no! He’s just being silly. I think he’s a bit intimidated by you,” Niall hurriedly cleared. Louis frowned. _What?_

“He’s intimidated….by me?”

“Not like that. He’s intimidated by how nice and sweet you are being to him. And how much he wants and likes it.”

“Ahh.” Well, not that it made much sense, but. He just needed to talk to Harry, figure things out a bit.

“Niall, I need to talk to him,” he cried out in despair. Niall smiled sympathetically.

“I know. But what can I do?” That was true. Unless….

“Hey, you and Harry are close, yeah?” he asked, an idea popping into his head.

“Yeahhh…” Niall drawled slowly, unsure.

“So….you know where he lives, right?” he asked, eagerness creeping into his voice. He watched as Niall caught on and an expression of understanding crossed his face.

“Oh no. I could, but I’m not sure if I should”-

“Please Niall. I only just want to talk. I promise I won’t get you into trouble,” he pleaded, only two seconds away from joining his hands and begging. After a few moments of fixing him with a hopeful, pleading gaze, Niall relented with a sigh.

“Okay, fine, I’ll give you his address.”

“Thank you so much Niall!! I could honestly kiss you right now,” he exclaimed happily, energy coursing through him.

“I’d rather not, no offence. Save that for Harry,” he joked, as he wrote down the address on a piece of paper, smirking at his tainted cheeks.

“Thank you so much.” Louis gratefully gave him a quick hug, as he pocketed the paper with the address on it. Niall laughed.

“Its no problem.”

As he turned to leave, Niall stopped him for a second, face serious, but warm.

“Thank you Louis, for caring about him. Although he’s being ridiculous about it now, I know it makes him happy.”

Louis said nothing, but smiled, with a silent promise of ‘I’ll make sure he’s happy’ before he left, and got into his car. He looked at the address; it was a short ten minute drive. _Okay, here we go._

Around ten minutes later, Louis was stood outside Harry’s house, hesitating. He had been standing there for a whole minute, repeatedly bringing his hand up to ring the doorbell, and dropping it back down without doing it. He did not want to see Harry frown upon seeing him. _Don’t be a wimp,_ he told himself, and letting out a heavy sigh, he rang the doorbell.

A few seconds later he heard movement behind the door, and it opened, revealing a very unsuspecting Harry. “Hi,” he shrugged, tilting his head and smiling at him nervously.

“Louis?! What…what are you doing here?” Harry asked in shock, seemingly caught off guard, in disbelief, as he stood there with the door half open and gaping at him.

“I just…wanted to talk to you?” he said, coming out more like a question. Harry instantly stiffened, eyes steeling.

“No you can’t. I mean,” he hurried to correct, “I don’t want to. I have nothing to say.”

As Harry gingerly went to shut the door, Louis stopped him.

“Harry, wait. Let’s just please talk,” he pleaded.

“Why?” Harry asked with a soft sigh.

“Because I care.” Harry looked torn for a moment, worrying his lip. Finally, he heaved out a sigh.

“Okay.”

 _Yes!_ Louis cheered mentally. He fixed him with a soft gaze. “Can I come in?”

“Huh? Yeah, yes of course, I’m sorry,” Harry hastily moved aside, letting Louis step in. It was a small, yet comfortable house, and one thing Louis instantly noticed, in the hall and living room, was the numerous paintings.

“Did you…did you paint these?” he asked in awe, standing before one specific painting completely done in shades of grey, admiring it.

“Yeah, I did. All of them are mine,” Harry mumbled meekly, and Louis turned around to face him.

“They’re beautiful. All of them.  You’re an amazing artist, Harry. You should be proud,” he praises earnestly, and watched in increasing fondness as Harry ducked his head, a blush coloring his cheeks as he stuttered out a small thanks.

After looking at him for a moment, Louis cleared his throat. “So, can we, uh…?” as asked, gesturing to the couch, and stared dumbly as Harry shook his head.

“Can we talk, outside? Like, take a walk? Only…only if you want to,” he suggested, nervously shuffling his feet. Louis brightened up.

“Of course we can do that, love!” he looked at Harry who was still in the same loose jumper he had worn to work. He nodded mutely, and held the door open for Louis, and then stepped out himself, locking the door behind him.

Harry’s house was in a quiet neighborhood, with just a few people strolling leisurely by the sidewalk. As they walked a few paces away from the house, Louis couldn’t help but ask, “Are we going somewhere in particular?”

“Yeah. There’s a little park nearby. I thought we could go there. Do you mind?” he asked unsurely, and it made Louis sad, to see just how much Harry doubted his own words and actions.

“No, absolutely not! We can go there,” he reassured, walking by Harry’s side. It was after a few more minutes of peaceful silence that he asked gently, “Harry? Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Harry sighed, looking down at the ground as they walked slowly. “I…I don’t. I don’t know what to…” he stammered out, looking as if he were at a loss for words, clearly agitated.

“Hey, _hey._ It’s alright. Don’t rush. Whatever it is, I’m here to hear you out. Just breathe love,” he replied calmly, wanting nothing more than to calm Harry down, and Harry nodded shakily, breathing in deep.

“I was just…embarrassed. And s-scared,” he choked out, resolutely staring down. Louis’ heart ached.

“Why?” Louis walked a bit closer to him, and Harry didn’t shift away; he only seemed to lean a little bit closer to him.

“Yesterday…I was just so open and needy… and I thought you would….” He stopped, anxiously fiddling with his hands, unable to finish his words.

"You thought I would judge you?” he asked quietly. Harry bit his lip.

“I thought you’d find me pathetic and weak.” His whispered words cut through Louis sharply, words containing so much held back emotion. He shook his head rapidly, pulling Harry to a stop.

He lifted a hand to gently grip Harry’s shoulder, breath catching as he visibly flinched, before relaxing under his hold. A fleeting thought crossed his mind. _Did Harry think Louis was going to hurt him?_ There was so much he wanted to know, but looking at Harry’s downcast, anxious face, he knew what he had to say.

“Harry,” he began, tilting his chin up and making sure Harry was looking at him, so he would know he meant it, “By calling me yesterday, you didn’t seem weak. I was so, so glad you trusted me enough to call. Everybody needs a little reassurance sometimes, and I’d give it to you anytime. You can call me any day, anytime, and I’d be there.”

Harry looked at him with innocent eyes, like a child who wanted to desperately believe in good. “Really?” he asked, and the childlike innocence in his tone only increased Louis’ urge to protect him.

“I swear. I don’t know how else to make you believe, but I’ll say this. To me, you’re beautiful, strong, talented and _worthy._ Do you believe me?” at his words, Harry’s frown smoothened out, a shy smile tugging at his lips.

“I do,” he mumbled, just as meekly, and honestly, Louis won at life. Harry was smiling, he wasn’t tensed, and he _fucking wins at life._

“Good. Because I really care about you, if that wasn’t already obvious,” Louis said, feeling much lighter than before. And judging by the little bounce in Harry’s step, and his lips constantly twitching into the smallest of smiles, he did too. In the distance, Louis saw the park, and it was such a bright weather to be outside.

“I think I know,” Harry muttered lightly, bumping his shoulder, _and this just got better,_ Louis was positively overjoyed at Harry’s playful shift in mood.

“Oh, do you now?”

“Yeah. I think the gifts were enough to prove that,” he said warmly, glancing at him.

“Oh. That reminds me. Did you like them?” Louis asked, closely watching Harry.

Harry’s smile quietly bloomed into a large, dimpled one. “Yes, I loved them.  Thank you so much for them, Louis, it was very sweet.” Harry held his gaze for a moment, and then dropped it, looking away, cheeks pink.

“Well, good to know it turned out well. Worked my butt off trying to think them up to please you,” he joked, as they entered the park. Harry’s face turned momentarily serious.

“About that. I’m sorry I was being so rude and indifferent. I was just, overwhelmed, because nobody ever does nice things for me like you did,” he said earnestly. _That was the saddest thing he’s ever heard._ Harry deserved only nice things.

“Don’t be sorry for feeling the way you feel. That’s okay then, if it gave me a chance to give you those things.” Harry stared at him in wonder, opening his mouth several times to say something, but closing it afterwards, deciding against it.

“We’re here,” he said instead, gesturing around to the large stretch of grassy land around them. It was a beautiful little park, not too crowded, with a few kids running around. The weather was beautiful as well.

“Come on. I’ll take you to a nice spot. I come here a lot,” Harry said eagerly, leading Louis to a bit more of a secluded place, with lots of bushes. They both sat down on a bench, close, but not much, settling into comfortable silence, Harry staring off into the distance where a few children were playing.

It was only then that Louis noticed the small, blue flower weaved into Harry’s hair, wilting at the edges, but still pretty. Now that he thought about it, he had seen his bunch of flowers in the corner of Harry’s living room, in a vase. Louis couldn’t help but smile broadly as he asked, “Harry? Is that flower in your hair from my bouquet from a few days back?”

Harry turned his head to look at him in confusion, hand coming up to feel the flower before lowering it timidly, a caught expression on his face.

“Um, y-yeah. Thought they were pretty. Why? Does it look weird?”

“Nope. It looks pretty. You make it look pretty. It makes you look prettier,” he replied simply, relishing in Harry’s sweet blush. That was all he seemed to be doing, but Louis wasn’t complaining.

“You know….I come here pretty often,” Harry started, and Louis’ heart skipped a beat in absolute joy, because Harry was talking, freely, unprompted, “and feed the cats here.”

“You feed the cats?” Louis asked incredulously. Harry turned to him with bright eyes, and _he was a goner._

“Yeah! There’s a lot of them, and, _wait,_ look, they’re here!” Harry squealed in excitement, and Louis couldn’t help but reciprocate it, and indeed, a couple of cats had gathered around Harry’s feet, all seeming much taken to him.

“This one’s Ashley,” Harry pointed excitedly to the grey one that was rubbing against his leg, “this one is Ginger,” he pointed to a ginger cat and Louis rolled his eyes fondly, “And she is Snowball,” he finally pointed at a fluffy, white kitten. Louis let out a laugh, reaching down to pet one of them.

“Very original, Harry,” he snorted. Harry chuckled.

“Well I can’t name them names like, Elizabeth, or Archimedes, can I?” Louis shook his head in amusement at the happy boy bedside him.

“Your car is named Betsy.”

“ _Louuu._ Betsy is a cute name. What would you name your car?” he asked, pressing closer in interest, and for a moment, Louis blinked at him disconcertedly.

“Um,” he thought for a minute. And then, grinning like an idiot, he said, “Edward.”

Harry frowned adorably. “What, like Edward from Twilight??”

“Nope. Edward, like your middle name.” Harry gawked at him speechlessly, before snorting, “Still not a car name, Louis. It sounds too posh.”

“Hmm, how about Eddie?” Harry contemplated it in mock seriousness, before nodding, a grin threatening to split his face.

“Well then, Eddie it is,” Louis exclaimed, and the amused laugh it earned out of Harry was worth it.

The cats had left, seeing as Harry had brought nothing to feed them. They both had once more fallen into a content silence. Harry sighed softly, tilting his head up to face the sky, letting the light fall on him, and Louis was gripped by sheer wonder at the beauty that was Harry Styles. _Count. Him. Dead._

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Harry mumbled in an awestruck voice and Louis wasn’t sure what he was talking about, probably about the weather, but he replied softly with a ‘yeah’, eyes not leaving Harry’s face. And when Harry glanced at him, it was obvious he was caught, seeing as Harry was trying and failing to bite back his smile.

They sat there like that for a while, stealing glances at each other, thinking the other won’t notice, nudging each others’ legs like a pair of fools, and Louis could barely contain all of his happiness. But shortly, Harry suggested they walk back, as he had assignments to complete, and they both got to their feet, Harry stumbling into him a bit, and Louis steadied him with a hand on his hip.

“Oops,” Harry gasped breathily, eyes focusing intensely on Louis’ face.

“Hi,” Louis breathed out, and after a moment, they both broke off into giggles, Louis letting go, and walking by his side as they started walking back to Harry’s house.

The walk back was mainly quiet. Halfway through though, Harry’s arm brushed against his, and he brushed it off, thinking it was an accident. He purposefully brushed his arm against Harry’s the next time, unable to resist, and felt him stiffen, before Harry swung his arm again, and his hand lightly grazed Louis’. _Oh. So it wasn’t an accident._

Louis bit the inside of his cheek, and watching Harry from the corner of his eye, he let his hand touch Harry’s once again, watching as a blushing smile took over his face. Unsurely, he let his little finger link through Harry’s, waiting with bated breath, until Harry tugged at his hand with his pinky.

Grinning widely, he linked all his fingers with Harry’s soft, warm hand, squeezing it gently, and looked at him when he felt a squeeze in return, to find Harry already gazing at him happily. _Harry had wanted this,_ Louis realized. At that moment, linked hands swinging slightly between them as they walked, and happiness evident on his face, Louis thought Harry shone brighter than the sun itself.

As they finally reached Harry’s house, Louis pulled him to a stop just before his doorstep, rubbing his thumb over Harry’s knuckles soothingly once, before dropping his hand. Harry looked at him with a cute, lopsided grin.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Louis asked hopefully.

“You will,” Harry said emphatically, swaying a bit on his feet. Louis looked up at him with a teasing smirk.

“Sure you won’t avoid me like I’m the plague?” he joked.

“I promise, I won’t,” Harry replied earnestly, with a hand above his heart.

“You can call me if you need to, okay?” Louis checked. Harry nodded, curls bouncing everywhere.

“Okay. Bye then, love,” he said happily, bopping Harry’s nose, and Harry scrunched it up and broke into a giggle, blush ever present, as he mumbled a “Thanks, and bye Lou,” and got into his house. _Louis was so fucked._

He turned to walk to his car, smiling so wide it hurt. And that smile did not seem to be fading anytime soon, not if Harry was gonna stick around in his head all day. Not like he wanted it any other way anyways.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a ridiculously long time ugh. I'd say its a little filler before bigger things. Shitty chapter fault goes to me, we both were blank for a long time, oops.
> 
> Only keep in mind that just because Harry is sad majority of the time, does not stop him from being able to be happy with the right people. :) x

The bakery was quickly becoming Louis’ favorite place. And that may or may not be because of Harry. _Okay nope, it’s definitely largely because of Harry,_ he thought, as he entered the shop, and was immediately met with Harry, almost bumping into him. Harry took a step back and chuckled, pushing his hair back. “Hi.”

“Hi Harry,” he replied, with a large grin he couldn’t seem to control when he was around Harry.

“Have a seat Lou, I’ll be with you in a second.” Louis went to sit at a table in the back, looking around. Since it was pretty early in the morning, the quaint little place only had a few people occupying it.

“Louis?” Harry’s gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up at a very smiley Harry, flicking his hair away from his face.

“What would you like to have today?” he asked primly, eyes holding mirth and Louis rolled his eyes at him, pondering for a moment, before replying with, “Just a latte.”

“A lot’a latte?” he asked in a heavily accented tone, and Louis face palmed in mock exasperation, hearing Harry giggle before he nodded eagerly and went back to the counter to prepare his order.

After a few minutes, a white china cup of coffee was placed on his table. Louis stared. And stared. And stared some more, a smile tugging at his lips. Artfully drawn into the top layer of the coffee was a large smiley face, with the word sorry written below it in coffee powder.   _What even was Harry?_

Louis looked up to see Harry looking down at him coyly, with a shy smile playing on his lips. He looked back down at the coffee dumbfounded, and then back at Harry, who was swaying back and forth with a pleased look. Louis smiled helplessly, and kicked out the chair in front of him, and Harry dropped down into it, averting his gaze. He wanted to pinch his cheeks.

“Harry….” Louis trailed off, slightly in awe, and the younger boy looked at him, “This is so cute! And sorry for what?” he asked curiously. Harry’s cheeks tinged pink as he once more lowered his gaze.

“Sorry….for my shitty behavior the previous days…and for being a jerk,” he mumbled lowly. Louis shook his head at him, knowing arguing with him was pointless. Time to change tactics.

“A cute jerk,” he said instead.

“I was a fool,” Harry retorted, though only half emphatically now.

“A cute fool.”

“An asshole.”

“A cute asshole. Wait….I didn’t,” Louis stuttered, “that sounded weird, I mean, not that it isn’t, but not like, well I wouldn’t know…” he stammered even further _what was wrong with him?_

“Louis,” Harry giggled, with an easy grin, and face so bright, gently kicking at Louis’ ankle. And he was doomed; his words were lost in Harry’s smile. His words, thoughts, actions were all lost in his smile. And probably his sanity too, because he wasn’t sure if he was imagining the twinkle in Harry’s eyes or not, and either way it probably wasn’t a healthy sign.

“Harry?” they both looked up at the sound of Niall’s voice as he came to where they sat, confusion etched into his face. “Why are you here already?”

Harry’s face flushing was like a spontaneous reaction as he fidgeted. What was going on?

“What are you doing here early? It isn’t your shift yet, it isn’t till midday!” Niall pressed, looking at him in bewilderment. Harry blushed deeper and hissed out “Shut up Niall,” lowly, though Louis heard, and looked at them in amusement.

Niall immediately snapped his head, looking between them, as if he had only just noticed Louis. An impish grin grew on his face, demeanor turning mischievous and understanding.

“Oh. _Ohh._ Now I see why you started early,” he practically cackled in glee, looking pointedly at Louis and oh, okay. Now it made sense, why Harry was all flustered and Niall clapped his shoulder jovially, calling out, ‘Have fun lovebirds’ and left.

Louis looked over at Harry, who looked like he was trying to blend into the seat. He couldn’t help but smirk as he asked, “Aw Harry, did you come in early hoping you’d see me?”

“No,” Harry muttered, face bright red. Louis chuckled.

“I’m sorry, no??” he teased, and Harry groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“Maybe,” he said, words muffled by his hands.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that,” Louis sing songed, leaning forward. Harry groaned again in embarrassment (something which Louis took great delight in).

“I came to see you,” Harry said a little louder and Louis smirked devilishly.

“Still can’t hear you Haz.” At that, Harry lifted his head from his hands, face glowing red as he clearly said, “Oh my God, alright, I came in early to see you!”

“There, that’s all I wanted to hear,” Louis sat back smugly and Harry pouted at him. Affection spread through him warmly.

“Tease,” Harry muttered, still clearly embarrassed, and Louis chuckled, finding it way too endearing.

“Aww don’t be like that, love. I was really looking forward to seeing you as well,” he replied earnestly, sipping his coffee, and that seemed to satisfy Harry, who smiled in what looked like relief, loosening up, happy gleam back in his eye. Louis gazed at him thoughtfully; it took so little to please Harry, almost like he wasn’t used to receiving good things. That pained him so much.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry’s sudden question made him startle, but he quickly regained his composure.

“You.” He said without missing a beat, smile teasing. Harry’s smile once again turned shy, and that was another thing he’d noticed; the smallest thing, slightest attention made him flustered, and Louis couldn’t get enough of it.

“Me?? What about me?” he asked in surprise. Louis raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why does that surprise you so much? What do you think I was thinking about, when I’m sitting with you?”

“I don’t know….more important stuff?”

“Harry….you are important. To me, at least,” he emphasized. Harry hummed, not saying anything more.

Louis broke the silence after a few moments. “Do you mind if I do some of my work here?” he asked, taking his laptop out and switching it on.

“Oh I don’t mind at all,” Harry replied, shaking his head, “Am I getting in your way?”

“No, not at all love. Stay. That is, if you want to,” Louis quickly clarified. Harry nodded and settled more comfortably in his chair. Louis focused on opening up his documents, and for a few minutes, a silence fell between them.

It was only after a while, from the corner of his eye, he noticed Harry fiddling with his hands, and sneaking glances at him, trying not to be obvious about it. Louis smiled, but said nothing, for Harry’s sake. After a whole five minutes of Harry still glancing at him nonchalantly, he smirked.

“You’re cute when you think you’re being sneaky while looking at me,” he commented smugly, not even having to look away from his laptop screen to know that Harry was probably blushing.

“I wasn’t…I’m not,” Harry stuttered, trying and failing to sound incredulous. Louis glanced at him fondly.

“Don’t worry love, its very flattering,” he said with a wink, and Harry looked like he was seconds away from passing out due to mortification, so he added, “Let’s play 20 questions. Continuation from the first day we met. I don’t want you to sit there bored.”

“Oh no, that’s fine Louis, you don’t have to”-

“I’ll go first. What’s your favorite song?” he asked, while simultaneously typing away. Harry seemed to think about it for a while.

“Brave, by Sara Bareilles,” he answered, looking thoughtful. Louis smiled wryly; he could see why Harry probably connected with the song.

“Yours?”

“Hmm, mine changes a lot. But how to save a life by the Fray is my all time favorite."

“Okay, can I ask? Harry asked, eyes wide. Louis had to tear his gaze away.

“Hmm, that’s not how it works, Haz.”

“Please. Mine wasn’t even an actual question, it was just like a return question,” he tried, and Louis gave in with a nod.

“If not your current job, what would you be?” Harry asked in interest.

“I’d be a drama teacher,” Louis replied easily.

“Well I can definitely see why,” Harry smiled cheekily and Louis gasped in faux offence, and thought a while before asking his next question.

“Do you prefer warm clothes over light ones?” he asked thoughtfully, tugging playfully at Harry’s sleeve, and Harry instantly pulled his hand back like he was burnt, noticeably stiffening, and Louis was confused a bit.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, fumbling. Louis cocked his head at him.

“I mean, it’s a warm day. And you always wear pretty warm clothes and jumpers. Aren’t you feeling hot in that?”

“I get cold easily,” Harry retorted, somewhat defensively, and pulled his sleeves down even more, and Louis wanted to ask, but chose not to comment.

“Hey, I was just asking. You look cute in oversized sweaters anyways.” And Harry was back to his light self, tension leaving his shoulders. _Huh._

“Okay, me next. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?” Harry asked, eyes shining wickedly. Happiness was beautiful on him. Louis thought about it, and chuckled.

“Quite a few, to be honest. Hmm, let’s see. Oh there was this one time, I was passing by a car, the kind with black, tinted windows. So naturally, I stopped, and checked out my reflection, fixing my hair and basically acting like a vain twat,” he said, eyes alight and reminiscing, and Harry giggled, leaning in, already knowing where it was going.

“And I thought it was empty, yeah? But then the window rolls down, and this guy was sitting there, proper fit and all, both smirking at me as well as looking at me like I was crazy. I ran away after awkwardly laughing in his face…probably not the most embarrassing story, but yeah, definitely there,” he finished, with Harry’s laughs punctuating his words. Louis couldn’t help but gaze at him with warmth, knowing what he had said wasn’t even funny but yet had Harry giggling, with his head rested upon a hand, as if Louis was the most interesting person ever.

“Okay,” Louis trailed off, thinking while typing absentmindedly. “Quote poetry for me, Haz.”

“Poetry?” Harry asked with a half raised brow.

“Oh come on, I know you read a lot of it. Two lines.” He challenged. Harry gave in with a faux exasperated sigh.

“ _A thing of beauty is a joy forever, its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness; but will keep a bower quiet for us, and a sleep full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing_ ,” he recited from memory.

Louis listened with his mouth slightly open. He barely registered the actual meaning behind the lines; the words smoothly falling from Harry’s lips made him want to listen to him speak anything and everything all day.

Then the words washed over him, and looking at Harry he agreed. Harry was a thing of beauty, whose loveliness increased by the second, and he was sure that he’d never not be amazed by him. Harry was the embodiment of all things calm, a quiet beauty, a picture. Like the soothing waves lapping at the shore with the sun setting below the horizon. He could think of a million things that Harry was as beautiful as.

“That, was beautiful,” Louis praised, pretending to wipe off a tear, and Harry gave a little bow. _Could he get any cuter?_ It was then he noticed that Harry was doodling something into his notepad, but he couldn’t see what it was because his laptop blocked the view.

“What are you drawing, Harry?” Harry looked at him like he was caught, grinning sheepishly, and hiding the paper. Louis frowned, curiosity peaking.

“Hey, I wanna see!”

“I’m just doodling.”

“But I want to see!”

“Okay, but only once I’m done,” he said sternly, and Louis nodded seriously and Harry went back to happily drawing whatever he was drawing for a while, before turning his attention back to Louis, face like that of a child on Christmas.

“Lou,” he began, voice low and serious. He leaned in. “I’ve a very serious question.” Louis too leaned in, and motioned to him to continue, lips pursed solemnly. If it wasn’t for Harry’s lips twitching into a smile, he would’ve been fooled.

“Do you or do you not like and celebrate Christmas?” Louis gaped at him still, Harry’s eyes gleaming with mirth. _He was gone for a twelve year old._

“Hmm, it’s a very serious question, Harold,” Louis replied just as seriously, scratching his chin in thought and playing along, much to Harry’s delight, “Seeing as the end of poverty and future missions towards world peace depends on my answer, I shall admit. I love Christmas, and always celebrate it,” he said dramatically, and it was worth it, to see Harry light up like the stars and laugh into his sweater paws in delight.

They continued playing for a little while, Louis’ work nearly forgotten, as they got lost in each other’s company. Finally Harry sat back, dropping his pencil on the table, huffing out a satisfied breath with a proud smile. “There.”

“Now, do I get to see this art of yours?” Louis asked with a wriggle of his eyebrows, and Harry nodded, biting his lip, and pushed the paper towards him shyly. Louis stared in surprise. It was a pencil sketch of him, done beautifully, his best features done in soft, firm strokes, the shading around it soft. He looked up at Harry, who was nervously waiting for his approval.

“Harry…this is beautiful. You’re so talented. Can I keep this?” he asked, gently tracing the lines on the paper. Harry nodded happily.

“Wait,” Louis said, and pushed the paper towards him. Harry’s face dropped a little.

“I want you to put your sign underneath it. What if you become famous one day? Then I can wave this around and say I have your autograph and that I’m your first and biggest fan!” Harry's eyes widened, cheeks firing up in a blush, and he signed it with no protests. Louis kept it safely away.

“Well,” Harry said, tugging down his sweater a bit, “I think I’ve to head back into the kitchen, start on baking.”

“You think?” Louis teased. Harry rolled his eyes.

“No, I know. I’ve got to head to the back,” he sighed, sitting up straight.

Louis closed his laptop and put it in the bag. “Can I come with you?”

“You wanna come inside?!” Harry asked, voice a pitch higher in surprise. Louis shrugged lightly, quirking his lips.

“Yeah. Because of you, I got no work done. Time to return the favor,” he said, though Harry knew he wasn’t upset about it. He hesitated.

“Aw come on, even Niall won’t mind,” Louis tried.

“”Okay. Follow me,” Harry said, standing up and leading the way.

“Ooh, bossy,” Louis muttered playfully, following him, and Harry threw him an impish grin over his shoulder. Louis shook his head. Playful Harry was a pleasant surprise and he was loving every minute of it.

Harry had brought him to their little lunch break room. “You can keep your laptop here.”

“So thoughtful, Harry,” he mumbled, and left his laptop there, following Harry to the large kitchen space.

“This is where the magic happens,” Harry exclaimed enthusiastically, giving a little twirl. Louis snorted in amusement. _What a dork._

“You mean this is your natural habitat, got it,” he nodded jokingly, and Harry swatted at him in playful annoyance, already moving over to a set of ingredients and arranging and setting up stuff.

Louis scuffed his shoe on the ground. “So, what do I do? Can I help?”

Harry looked up from where he was cracking eggs. “You said you had burnt popcorn, right?”

“Right,” he answered, smiling like an idiot.

“Right. So no, just stand there,” he said, looking back down and adding flour, but Louis could see him smile cheekily. Louis gasped dramatically.

“Harold!”

“What? I’m only keeping our customers’ health and best interests at heart, I’d like them alive Louis,” he shot back, mischievous smile never leaving his lips, and Harry was full of surprises today and Louis can’t say he was complaining.

“Heyyy, bit more faith now,” he scolded in jest, swatting at Harry’s shoulder lightly, and for the briefest second, Harry tensed before mock glaring at him.

“Fine. You can mix the batter for the cupcakes for me,” he gave in, pushing a bowl with all the ingredients already in. _When, and how fast had he done that?_  Feeling Harry’s watchful gaze at the back of his neck, he took the whisk in his hand. Now just how would he do this without spilling it while the pro was watching him?

“Harry. How do I whisk?” he asked, waving the whisk around. Harry guffawed, and stepped closer to him, bumping hips and placed his hand on top of Louis’ hand which was holding the whisk. Louis held his breath as Harry lowered the whisk into the bowl, and his eyes were glued on the sight of his dainty, smaller hands covered by Harry’s bigger ones. _Jesus._

Harry was moving both their hands in quick, efficient movements, and Louis tried to focus. Once Harry pulled away, he let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, hands still tingling.

“Got it?” Harry asked, eyeing him intensely.

“Yup, got it, got it,” Louis nodded firmly, focusing, and flicked his wrist just like Harry had shown him, except, maybe a little too determinedly, as some of the batter splashed out, and a little bit landed on his chin. Louis peeked at Harry through one eye, to see him struggling to hold back a smile, while trying and failing to glare.

“Oops,” Louis shrugged half apologetically, setting down the bowl and whisk.

“Its fine,” Harry shrugged, and before he could react, reached out and wiped off the batter from his chin and licked it off his finger. Louis tried not to stare, but he wasn’t sure if he succeeded, as Harry smirked at him around his finger.

Harry took upon the whisking himself, humming to himself. Louis grinned wickedly.

“I want to taste too,” he exclaimed, dipping his finger in the bowl and licking it before Harry could stop him. Once he was done, he shot a bright grin at Harry, and he shook his head at Louis.

“You are a menace,” he grumbled, with no heat. Louis poked his side in retaliation and Harry squirmed away.

“Stay out of the baking Lou," Harry mumbled distractedly, busy pouring the batter into moulds, “Just sit on the counter and look pretty.” Louis’ mouth fell open in a gasp for a second, eyes bugging out of his head, and Harry seemed to realize what he had said a second too late, instantly blushing fiercely and dropping his gaze. Louis grinned despite himself.

“Oh, so you think I’m pretty?” he teased, batting his eyelashes ridiculously at him. Harry dodged him, heading towards the oven.

“Did I say that?” Louis heard a muffled reply.

“Oh but you did!” he carried on in glee. A very flustered Harry resurfaced and shrugged. “You are,” he tried to say as if it wasn’t a big deal, but it came out slightly breathlessly. Satisfied and smug, Louis hopped up on the counter and sat there swinging his legs, content with just watching Harry work, getting lightheaded in the best way at the sweet scent of chocolate.

After they had finished up that batch of cupcakes, Louis said he had to go, actually had to get home and look over some emails. Harry packed up three cupcakes and handed it to him, and Louis looked down at it in confusion.

“Harry, I don’t need them, especially not for free!”

“Its for hanging out with me today,” Harry said shyly, pushing it into his hands. Louis frowned.

“Harry, I didn’t spend time with you expecting anything but your company in return. You don’t owe me anything; I just wanted to be with you.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows.  “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. Its just a little gift. I want you have them.” Louis took them, and Harry’s smile was rewarding. He looked so beautiful with the happiest smile shining through his eyes and Louis couldn’t. Without thinking, he leaned up, and pressed a soft kiss onto Harry’s cheek, and felt him tense and intake a sharp breath, before feeling him smile.

When he pulled away, the prettiest blush had settled on Harry’s cheeks, the cutest smile adorning his face. If he stayed any longer, he wasn’t sure what else he’d do on impulse.

“Bye Harry, thanks for the cupcakes,” Louis said softly, a smile lining his voice, as he took his laptop. As he walked out, he heard a slightly delayed, yet just as warm “Bye Lou.” Louis smiled to himself, stepping out of the bakery.

As he got into his car, he felt his phone vibrate. He took it out, and seeing that he had a text from Harry, he opened it.

“ _Thanks for spending time with me Lou, I had so much fun. Will I see you soon?”_ it read, followed by a bunch of wide eyed emojis and cake and cookie emojis. Louis felt himself smile against his will; he was ridiculously endeared by Harry’s over usage of emojis and his eagerness.

Smiling ever so bright, he tapped out a reply, “ _I had fun too love, and yes, you will, much sooner than you know xx.”_  And imagining a smiley, crinkly eyed Harry, he drove away, smile never leaving his lips.


	8. Chapter 8!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> much awaited :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh FINALLY!!!! alright, first things first:
> 
> To anyone who's stuck around so far, we're so so grateful. it took so long, personal reasons (to those who read the notes which i deleted after, you know it) it was a shitty time, but we're back!
> 
> also, all credits go to my bestfriend, who also is very much the co author of this fic (she disagrees.) for the plot, ideas and the entire storyline. Couldn't have done it without her.
> 
> few things to note:   
> 1\. pov changes slightly from L to H throughout, its slight.  
> 2\. Harry's eating disorder is very slight; main focus is his body perception issues.  
> 3\. his anxiety in this fic is not unrealistically exaggerated at all. based off on true experience.
> 
> other than that, we're sorry to have kept you waiting (mainly me), i hope y'all like it, its easily the longest chapter I've ever written, and leave your thoughts :)

Harry woke up to the buzzing of his phone. Being a light sleeper, and weighed down with thoughts always keeping him on edge, it took little to wake him up, seeing as he barely got sleep. He breathed in deep, searching for his phone on his bed, eyes still closed.

Opening his eyes blearily, all traces of an early morning frown left his face as he saw his phone light up with a new text from Louis and a smile already made its way to his lips, mind still foggy with the sense of safety that lasts for a few minutes after sleep.

He opened it, smiling wider as he read, ‘ _Good morning peaches xx’_ Harry muffled a sleepy giggle into his pillow. It had been a few weeks since they somehow fell into the habit of sending  each other the sappiest and cutest good morning and good night texts, and throughout in between, but he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. It was new, strange, but good.

Willing his numb fingers to move, he typed out a reply, biting back a grin. “ _Good morning sugarplum :) and why peaches? Xx”_

A reply came immediately, and Harry couldn’t really ignore the way happiness bubbled up inside him. _‘My name was better, Harold, and you’re fuzzy and soft like a peach.’_

Harry rubbed his face in fond amusement. ‘ _I bruise like a peach_ ’

 _‘Riggght. Weirdo.’_ He could almost hear Louis draw the words out in his husky accent, with a smile lining his words. The fact that he could, was slightly unnerving. He still couldn’t believe how easy banter and conversation came with Louis; all his life he had struggled with connecting to anyone and everyone. That fact, that he had a connection, made him feel secure in an unexplainable way; he had let Louis in too soon and too fast, and he wasn’t sure if he was regretting it.

His phone buzzed again with a text from Louis. “ _You’ll be at the bakery today right?”_

Harry was sure he looked silly smiling goofily at the phone like that, and that in itself was a rare thing. Rubbing one eye, he texted back rapidly.

‘ _Where else would I be? I’m trapped amongst horrific pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Save me Louuu!!”_

 _‘Sounds like a fun and apt place for you to be in, Haz ;)’_ Harry gasped in surprise, chuckling afterwards.

‘ _Where’s my knight in shining armor?’_

 _‘Right here, love. See you in a bit xx’_ Harry sent back a bunch of emojis, for a second just breathing in full content. Louis made him so happy, and it almost frightened him. He also had to keep pushing back the small, annoying voice in his head which kept providing him oh so helpfully with the reason of this happiness as well. That, could be later to dwell on.

Smiling, Harry gets out of bed, excited to meet Louis, despite it being a regular occurrence. That was new too, usually, the thought of interacting with people made him want to draw into himself and spiral downwards, but something about Louis, during all times, was different. He has a feeling he knows.

Humming under his breath, he went about, preparing for the day.

 

Louis would be here in a few (yes he had noted the days and time so sue him). He was trying to be casual, after all he should be used to Louis visiting him now, its been a little over a month, but he was still thrumming with low anticipation; the good kind. It didn’t go unnoticed either.

“Waiting for your boy?” Niall asked him slyly while passing by him to the counter. Harry narrowed his eyes at him, a strange feeling settling inside him at the words. “He’s NOT my boy, for god’s sake Niall, don’t blurt out stuff like that!”

Niall eyebrows shot up, looking smugger than before. “Why not? If it doesn’t mean anything, no harm right?” he paused with a shit eating grin, and Harry threw him a dirty look, “unless, it means something?”

“Oh sod off Niall,” he said dismissively, and heard Niall cackle as he went back in. Harry only got the time to let out an exasperated sigh before the sound of the bells at the door had him snapping his head quickly, and was met with the sight of an ever radiant Louis bounding towards him, looking as happy as him to see Harry. All traces of anticipation left him as he burst into an uncontrollable grin, dimples popping.

“Hello doll,” Louis greeted him eagerly, bouncing a bit on his toes. Harry was certain he was blushing but trying to seem unfazed, he blinked back dramatically in a doll like fashion, squeaking out  a ‘Hello’ in the most ridiculous, high pitched voice he could muster, which had Louis throw back his head prettily and chuckle. _Since when did he notice these things?_

“How are you, love?” Louis asked with a calm sincerity, leaning against the glass display. Harry sighed softly. “ ‘m good.” And for one of the first times he wasn’t really lying either.

“Well, I can’t stay for too long today Haz, it’s a work day, so I’ll have my usual on the go,” Louis said, looking equally disappointed as him. Harry looked over him; of course, he was dressed semi formal, sleeves of his white button down rolled up to his elbows, the cloth tightly hugging his figure, _wait no, focus Harry._

“Are we done admiring, Harold?” _Oops, too late, caught._ Blushing furiously, he reluctantly dragged his gaze up to meet Louis’ eyes twinkling with mischief, a teasing smile playing oh his lips. _Oh he wasn’t gonna give him that satisfaction._

“Wasn’t admiring….your shirt. Its…nice,” he mumbled out, realizing a split second later how awkward that was. Great going.

“Sure you were…..” Louis left it at that, smirking playfully at him, and Harry busied himself with preparing his coffee. Handing them over, he noticed that Louis was looking a little…..nervous, even as he gave a tight lipped smile. _What was going on?_

“Is everything alright Lou? He asked, concerned.

“Huh? Yeah, of course,” he stuttered out, before heaving a breath, “I want to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow is your day off right?”

“Righhtt….” Harry trailed off, wondering where this was going.

“Well…” Louis hesitated a tiny bit, “I was wondering if you’d like to spend tomorrow with me?”

“Uh….what?!” Harry asked, voice breaking in surprise. That wasn’t expected. Louis wanted him to spend the day off together? Why? _OH God, does he want to go?_

Harry’s distress must have shown on his face and his sudden stupor, because Louis hastened to add on, “Only if you want to! Of course, I’d love it if you would, but its totally up to you.”

That did make Harry a bit relieved. He liked spending time in Louis’ presence, tomorrow wouldn’t anyways be bad idea, right?

“What….what would we do?” he asked meekly, fingers already pulling at his lip; a nervous habit. Louis noticed, and gently pulled his hand away, holding it for a moment. And it seemed to soothe Harry’s nerves.

“That, you’ll see as we go along tomorrow. It’ll be a good time. Nothing you wouldn’t want to do, promise,” Louis said lowly, earnestly, meaningfully holding his gaze. How could Harry say no to that?

So pushing back his worries, he said, “Okay.”

“You’ll come?” Louis asked, excitement back in full swing, squeezing his hand and letting it go. Harry smiled a bit; there was no way he could regret this.

“Yeah, I will.”

“Great! I’ll text you details about timing later.” _Wait a minute, that sounds…_

“Is it…is it like, a date?” Harry asked nervously, because what. Why on earth would Louis, who’s too good for him anyways, want to ask him out on a date? _No way._

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” Louis said coyly, cocking an eyebrow and smirking at him, and Harry frowned in confusion. What does that mean?

Louis chuckled at him fondly, and before he could process it, was already leaning over and pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek. Harry’s eyes briefly shut at the warm contact, flying back open as he pulled back, a rose tinge rising to his cheeks. _He was pathetic._

“Gotta run love, I’ll be late otherwise. Bye Harry, I’ll text you later!” Louis called out as he left behind a baffled Harry, who gave him a belated ‘bye’. He was so, so confused; he needed to sit down for a moment.

Of course, it was at this moment Niall came back. “Your boyfriend left so soon?” he asked playfully. Why was he fond of him again?

“He’s _not_ my boyfriend, Niall,” Harry emphasized, face still set in a confused frown.

“What’s wrong, mate?” Niall had to ask.

Harry rubbed a hand over his face in frustration; he didn’t understand. “Louis asked me to go out with him tomorrow.”

Niall appeared to be excited, instantly lighting up. “Fucking finally, took him long enough!”

“What?!”

“To ask you out on a date! About time!” Niall said happily, clapping his shoulder. Harry’s frown deepened.

“What?  No….no! It’s not a date. He didn’t say it’s a date. It _can’t_ be a date, I asked him,” he said in a rush.

“And what did he say?” Niall asked with a knowing look, waggling his eyebrows.

“That it’s whatever I want it to be?” Harry said, unsure.

“Oh god you idiot, it is a date! That’s the most obvious thing he could have said!”

“It isn’t!” Harry protested. “Why would Louis want to go out with me? He probably just wants to hang out. He doesn’t even like me like that.”

“Do _you_ like him, then?” Harry choked on thin air.

“W-what!? N-no! I don’t…I am not..no way,” he spluttered, and he knew that was a shit job at sounding convincing because Niall looked as smug as someone who just won the lottery. _Honestly._

“Anyways, how would you know that?” Niall asked, exasperation creeping into his voice.

“We’re just friends.”

“ _Sure._ All those cheek kisses and hand holding is _totally_ platonic, and the gifts and the mooneyes looks too, just friends,” Niall said with biting sarcasm, rolling his eyes. Harry panicked a bit; that does sound right. But no way it’s a date. Nope.

“It’s not a date,” he tried weakly, “Louis is just being nice,” Harry huffed, crossing his arms, still a bit uncertain. He was nervous, for reasons he couldn’t pinpoint.

“It is! Aw look at you, all grown up,” Niall teased, pinching his cheeks. He was being a proper little shit, that’s what he was doing.

“Fuck off…” Harry muttered, heading back into the work area, but not before hearing Niall sing song, “Don’t forget to tell me how the date goes!” He sighed heavily, staggering a bit with the sudden weight of his worries.

He rubbed his temples. Would he want a date? _Maybe._ But even if he did, it wasn’t gonna happen. No one would want to go out with someone like him, except if it was out of pity. That made his eyes burn. One more thing to add to his disappointments.

Sighing sadly, he decided to push the thoughts to the back of his mind, and continue with his baking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say Harry was nervous would be an understatement. Harry was currently anxiously pacing his room, and randomly tidying up things, for lack of better things to do, as well as to keep his nerves at bay. He was dressed, and waiting for Louis to pick him up at 5. It was 4:53pm and he already felt like jumping out of his skin.

Harry being Harry, had incessantly been worrying since yesterday. And it only seemed to increase by the hour. And it frustrated him to no end, that he couldn’t even point out why he was worried in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that he rarely hung out with people. Maybe it was because he was terrified he’d be clumsy and awkward and make a fool out of himself. Or maybe, it was because he was still unsure if this was….a date.

Harry absentmindedly started biting at the edge of his finger, reading the time as 4:57 when he glanced at the clock. He hadn’t been able to get the thought out of his head, was it a date? Although his instincts were telling him yes, his mind told him not to fall down that hole. Hope, was after all, a beautiful, yet dangerous thing. One which he was not willing to risk; he’d been down that road one too many times. He didn’t deserve good things in life.

It was now seven minutes past 5, yet no Louis…maybe he decided that Harry was not worth his time and decided to pass. Harry sat down with a huff, every muscle in his body tense. After convincing himself that Louis was just being nice to him and that it was not a date, he had something else to worry about; what would he wear? And of course, he had freaked out over it, because how would he make sure he was dressed appropriately if he didn’t even know where they were going?

He had broken into a sweat over it, spending a whole hour trying to make himself look presentable. No matter what he tried on, each of his flaw seemed to be mocking him. Finally he gave up, and had thrown on a pair of jeans, which seemed to cling to his thighs unflatteringly no matter what, and a soft, loose cream jumper, so that he didn’t have the urge to keep sucking his stomach in.

It was now almost 5:15, with no sign of Louis, and Harry was panicking, ready to give up, when the doorbell rang, and he jumped up with a start, heart racing. _Okay, you can do this._

Taking in a huge breath, Harry pulled open the door, and he held his breath unknowingly, mind stopping for a second. Louis was stood on the step, looking simple, yet unexplainably beautiful, with the most blinding smile on his lips, and clear blue eyes fixed on him, rooting him to his spot. He let out his breath in a slow sigh, smiling back at Louis’ ever growing smile. They must’ve stood there gazing at each other for a moment, with all traces of uneasiness leaving Harry, till Louis broke it with a soft, “Hey.”

Harry opened his mouth to greet him back, but what came out instead was, “You look amazing.” And he immediately bit his lip and looked down, cursing himself. _Why did he have to say that, he should’ve just kept his mouth shut._ At least, until Louis’ sincere praise of ‘you look perfect’ brought him out of his self berating, and he had to try his hardest to not burst into a silly grin.

“So…”Louis began, leaning casually against the doorframe, “Are you gonna make me stand out the whole time?” he asked, with a teasing lilt to his voice. Harry looked up, blinking rapidly.

“No no! Of course not, come in!” he rushed, letting Louis in. When he turned to look at him, Louis was holding out a small bunch of aster flowers, and Harry smiled helplessly, taking them from him wordlessly. Until, he realized; that’s something you do on dates.

Louis must’ve seen his alarm because he quickly clarified, “Because I know you like flowers, wanted you have them.” And _oh._  Harry’s face fell slightly, though a part of him also sighed in relief. Not a date, okay.

“Thanks Louis,” he said, a small blush adorning his cheeks (seriously, what was _wrong with him?)_ as he went to put away the flowers. As he came back, Louis was waiting for him. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, just a second, I need to put on my shoes,” he said distractedly, looking for his shoes. Hearing Louis chuckle, he raised his head sharply while putting on a shoe, to find him smirking amusedly at him, a brow raised.

“What?” Harry asked self consciously.

“Kitty socks Harold, really?” Louis asked, voice full of amusement, but not unkindly. Harry looked down at his socks, which had kitten faces on them, and giggled.

“Heyyy, they’re cute!” he retorted, standing up straight after he had put on his shoes. Louis didn’t say anything back, only smiled at him with an unidentifiable look on his face. Like a true gentleman, Louis held the door open for him and Harry bowed exaggeratedly at him, stepping out first and locking the door behind them once they both were out.

Turning on his heels, he stumbled for a brief second, and Louis’ hand shot out to steady him with a firm grip to his elbow. Harry chuckled breathlessly at his clumsiness, and momentarily froze as Louis swiftly kissed his flaming cheek, and pulled him along by the hand. Harry was not gonna survive this _get a grip on yourself Styles!_

Once they had buckled in to Louis’ car, and he had started driving away, Harry cautiously asked the one thing he’d been wondering since yesterday, “Lou, where are we going?”

“Today, Harold, I’m taking you to see my office. Show you around, one of my mates want to meet you,” Louis said, smile evident in his voice. Except, Harry couldn’t say the same. He froze, anxiety already clouding his mind. _He’s going to what?!?_

It took him a few seconds to realize Louis was calling out his name.

“Harry? Love, what’s wrong?” Harry turned to see Louis glancing over at him repeatedly with concern, still keeping his focus on the road.

“Louis..I’m not…I can’t…m’  not good with meeting people,” Harry stuttered out lowly, closing his eyes briefly. A hand gently coming to rest on his thigh had him snapping to look at Louis.

“Hey, hey, we’re not gonna stay long enough for interaction, okay? You don’t have to talk at all, if you don’t want to. Don’t worry babe,” Louis reassured soothingly, squeezing his thigh gently, and Harry gulped and nodded.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Louis turned on the radio, and Harry instantly lit up as he recognized the song that was playing.

“I love this song!” he exclaimed, humming under his breath as Louis turned up the volume. And singing was something he loved, though he never dared to sing in front of someone else for fear of not being good enough.

He must’ve lost himself in the singing because he didn’t realize his low humming had turned to full on singing. Till Louis cut in with, “You’ve a beautiful voice Harry.” Harry immediately stopped singing, hanging his head low, though a small blush was making its way to his cheeks.

“Hey no, Harry, look at me,” Louis urged, and he reluctantly did so.

“Don’t stop. I meant it, you do have a beautiful voice.” Harry smiled at him gratefully, but now he felt awkward to sing. When the next song came on however, he was surprised when Louis started singing in his soft voice, a voice he was beginning to find great comfort in. Louis looked over for a second, and raised his eyebrows, silently asking him to join in. And he did; because with Louis, everything seemed simpler, like he didn’t have to worry from judgment.

They sang their way through the pretty short drive, till Louis pulled into the parking lot of Payne Corporations, and Harry felt his nerves make reappearance, because the place screamed of authority, and riches. A massive building was in front of them, grand yet formal in appearance. He pulled himself away from his thoughts, to see Louis already holding his car door open, a reassuring smile on his face. Harry took in a big breath, and stepped out, as they walked towards the building.

Once they were inside, Harry took a minute to just stare in awe. It was impressive, and was beautiful, as far as huge offices can get, most of the exteriors being glass, and shiny floors and ceilings. He let out a soft ‘wow’, and Louis chuckled beside him.

“Come on Harold, or do you want to stand there all day?” Harry shook his head, walking beside him. However, his relief was short lived, as he saw all the people who were going about their day, and hoped that he wouldn’t have to be introduced to anyone. He involuntarily leaned in closer to Louis, who discreetly linked his pinky finger through Harry’s, silently providing him comfort, and Harry couldn’t be more grateful.

Louis seemed to sense Harry’s uneasiness, so he only politely greeted back those who had greeted him, walking with purpose away from the people, and down a hallway, till they reached a glass door at the end. Opening the sliding doors, he looked at Harry with a beaming grin, “Welcome to my office.”

Harry stepped in, and took it in. It was large, spacious, one end of the room completely made of glass from top to bottom, shelves lining another wall. Louis’ big desk was off to a side, his laptop and a few other papers and files scattered on it. Away from the desk, was a small couch and a glass table. _Impressive._

“Well, what do you think?” Louis asked with a smile.

“It’s so big,” was what Harry blurted out, and he hastily added, “but it’s nice. Rather amazing.”

He watched as Louis smirked, and was undoubtedly biting back a remark that Harry would surely be endlessly teased for, but instead he chose to say, “Yeah well. Being assistant manager has its perks I guess.”

Oh yeah. Louis said that so nonchalantly, always one to be modest, but Harry couldn’t quite ever get over how much Louis had achieved at such a young age. He sat down on one of the chairs that could spin, and spun around a few times, laughing afterwards. He peeked at Louis who was looking at him amusedly, biting back a smile.

“How old are you again?” He asked playfully. Harry rolled his eyes and punched his arm playfully in retaliation, to which Louis gasped dramatically.

“OWW Harold! I’m hurt!” he exaggerated, pouting at him like a child.

“Look who’s the child here,” Harry said, smirking, and Louis, to his increasing amusement, stuck his tongue out at him.

“Thanks for proving my point,” Harry said, laughing, and Louis cracked a grin.

“Alright Harry, ready to meet my mate?” Louis asked. Harry nodded; Louis had so very often talked about him.

“Just keep one thing in mind,” Louis continued, leaning in towards Harry a little, “He may come off as a little intimidating for the first few minutes, but that is what I’d like to call his ‘judgment face’. He is a tad bit protective, but really, he is very sweet. So don’t get too worried.”

Harry nodded again a little shakily. “Alright. Let’s go then.”

They both stepped out of Louis’ office, and continued down another hall way.

Louis nudged him, while still keeping up a brisk pace. “Did I tell you he is the manager?”

Harry gaped at him in disbelief. “You’re telling me this now?!”

Louis grinned mischievously. “Don’t worry love, you’ll get along just fine.”

Saying so, he opened the door to another huge office room and walked in like he owned the place. “Payno!”

“Tommo!” The other man greeted, clasping his hands briefly, a smile on his face as soon as he saw Louis.

Harry, however, was still hanging around by the door nervously, feeling a little unsure. As Liam’s eyes met him across the room, he gave him a weak smile.

“I see you’ve brought someone along Louis,” he said, looking over at him. Louis turned around to see Harry still hanging back, and walked towards him.

“Liam, this is Harry. And Harry, this is Liam,” he said warmly, guiding Harry forward with a gentle hand on his back. Liam looked between the both of them for a moment, before breaking into a bright smile and extending his hand.

“Hi Harry, its nice to finally meet you,” he said warmly, shaking Harry’s hand, and Harry felt a little at ease, replying back with a soft, “Its nice to meet you too.”

Louis’ hand was still resting on his back, thumb pressing in a little, and it was very oddly calming. Harry began to breathe a little easier.

“You know,” Liam began with a glint in his eyes, “Louis has told me so much about you.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and hearing Louis hiss, ‘Liam!’ under his breath, he turned to him, to see Louis look at Liam warningly. An amused smirk grew on Harry’s face.

“Has he now? Only good things I hope?” A matching expression appeared on Liam’s face, evidently delighting in this opportunity to taunt Louis.

“Oh, only the best things.”

“Shut up Liam,” Louis muttered and Harry’s cheeks split into a big grin.

“In fact,” Liam pressed on, smiling devilishly between the two of them, “he doesn’t shut up about you at all.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Louis flipping Liam off and mouthing ‘fuck you’ and upon turning to him, Harry noticed that he was blushing. _Well well well._

“Louis Tomlinson…. _you are blushing?!”_ he asked, voice a pitch higher in incredulous amazement, because _oh how the tables have turned._

“I’m not!” He retorted, not even managing to sound convinced.

“Aww but you are!” Harry cooed, giggling at his embarrassment, and Louis pushed his shoulder, the fond smile on his face giving it away, and they both chuckled, bumping into each other, and steadying each other.

“Are you quite done, then?” Liam interrupted them, though he was smiling widely at them, and guided them to the seating area section (because this was the largest office Harry had ever seen, it had separate sections for the desk, the shelves and the set of couches. _Grand)._

Harry sat down on one of the small sofas, and Liam sat opposite him, a small glass table between them. Despite the rest of the sofas remaining empty for his choosing, Louis promptly sat down next to Harry, leaving hardly any space between them. _Okay then._

Louis had placed his arm on the back of the couch, so it was almost like Harry was tucked under his arm, finger tips grazing his shoulder, and it was both oddly welcoming and unsettling.

Liam was looking at them shrewdly, and Harry fidgeted.

“So, Harry, Louis told me you work in a bakery?” Harry nodded with a small smile.

“You must be really good because Louis here must have praised your baking a thousand times already,” he said sweetly, and Harry laughed.

“I’m ….yeah. I’m pretty good.”

“Pretty good?” Louis asked incredulously, turning to look at him. “You, young Harold, are pretty magical when it comes to baking, your pastries are the best I’ve tasted.” Harry mumbled out a string of thanks, getting flustered at Louis’ undivided attention.

“Did I also tell you he is a phenomenal artist? Has the prettiest paintings,” Louis said to Liam.

“Louis no-“ Harry protested because really, he didn’t deserve all that praise.

“Shh, H; he’s also good at singing,” Louis said; _proudly_?

“Oh my God,” Harry cried, hiding his face, cheeks flushing red.

They both chuckled at him, though not unkindly, and Harry profusely thanked them.

“So Harry, you major in Psychology? ”

“Yeah. Currently doing my masters,” Harry replied simply. Liam chuckled.

“Tsk Harry, such a clever subject, you’re a smart lad. And yet you chose this little shit to be friends with?” Liam was clearly joking, yet Harry was quick to defend.

“But he’s wonderful!”

“Oh stop it Harold, you’re making me blush,” Louis joked, pushing at Harry gently, and he turned to him.

“You are way too nice,” Harry mumbled quietly, because Louis should know that he is.

Louis smiled privately, and was going to say something before he was interrupted by Liam.

“Aww see, you’re so calm, kind and gentle,” Liam told Harry, tone warm, before his face shifted to playfulness, “now why couldn’t I be mates with you than be stuck with this idiot who’d rather play pranks on me?” he asked, rolling his eyes, and Louis kicked at his foot in faux annoyance.

“Excuse you Liam, I’m a great friend!”

“Says who?” Liam laughed, and Harry watched the two of them in growing amusement. Clearly, they had known each other for a long time.

Louis tutted half disapprovingly. “We shall see if you’ll still say that tomorrow Payno, who gets you your tea from the canteen and proof reads your email daily? Maybe I won’t be as accommodating tomorrow, now then,” he said, no heat to his words, a very familiar devilish grin dancing on his lips.

“Alright, alright, I’m kidding!” Liam laughed, and Louis smiled smugly.  Harry sat and watched them talk and interact quietly, observing their light hearted friendship and playful banter, and how much Liam seemed to adore Louis as a friend. Couldn’t blame him; Louis seemed to have that effect on people a lot.

Harry was jolted out of his musing by Louis huffing out a “You suck!” He couldn’t stop the incredulous smile on his face at seeing Louis crossing his arms like a petulant child.

Liam was looking equally delighted, shaking his head at Harry in fond disbelief.

“Louis, be nice,” Harry admonished, though he couldn’t be taken seriously, not with his face nearly splitting open with his smile.

“Yeah Louis, be nice, I’m your friend after all,” Liam echoed, suppressing his mirth.

“Says who?” Louis shot back, mimicking Liam from before, eyes full of mischief.

“Ouch, you wound me Tommo,” Liam said with a fake sniffle.

“Actually,” Harry started, with a shit eating grin, “Louis told me that you are his _best mate_ ,” he said, emphasizing it, much to Liam’s glee and Louis’ chagrin, “and that you are very sweet and protective.”

“ _Harry,”_ Louis said warningly, smile never leaving his lips. He turned to Liam.

“I did not.” He scoffed, but he was fooling no one.

“Aww you big softie,” Liam teased, and Louis glared at him for a second before his resolve broke. It was captivating, Harry thought, to see Louis do what he does best; that is be himself with such uncompromising passion.

~~~~~~~~~~

“So, what do you think of Liam?” Louis asked, as they made their way back to the parking lot. Liam had been so very friendly to him. They had sat around and chatted for a bit till Louis said that they had to get going. Liam had also surprisingly hugged him briefly before he left, with a warm ‘it was great meeting you Harry, hope to see you again soon’. Harry was a little taken aback, but it was pleasant nevertheless.

“He was very nice and friendly,” he replied, as they got into the car, and Louis started driving away.

“I told you that you’d get along fine,” Louis said triumphantly.

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry waved him off, hiding a smile.

After a while of driving around, and not having a single clue as to where they were headed, Harry’s curiosity won over him.

“Where are we going Lou?” He bit his tongue at the name but Louis looked nothing but pleased.

“Well, since you’ve been asking since so long, I’ll tell you. I’m taking you out for an early dinner.”

Harry froze. _Wait….what?! Was that not….a date thing? Or was he reading into it too much?_ He really needed to stop stressing so much; things would’ve been so much simpler if he would let himself believe it’s a date, but the thought of that being crushed was a pain he was not willing to go through.

“W-why?” he stuttered out instead.

Louis glanced at him like he grew two heads. “So you can eat of course! You must be hungry, so early dinner it is!”

 _Oh okay._ “But I’m not really hungry,” he tried weakly, the thought of food at the moment made his insides twist and churn.

“Don’t be silly, I’m treating you. It’s a nice place, great food.” That wasn’t exactly reassuring. He couldn’t even flat out refuse Louis. He’d just have to settle with feeling disgusted with himself.

 

Pretty soon Louis had pulled up in front of what looked like a nice, yet cozy little restaurant. Louis, being the proper gentleman he is, went around to open his door for him. Okay, Harry thought, smiling wanly and stepping out. _Its gonna be alright._

As soon as they walked up to the entrance, a man came up to them, smiling politely, and asked, “Table for two?” Harry must’ve have habitually started gnawing at his bottom lip, a sure sign of nervousness, because Louis discreetly wrapped an arm around his waist, and he couldn’t complain. He decided to stop worrying for a bit, and leant further into the hold.

They were lead to a partially closed off booth by the window side. Louis and him slid into opposite seats, and Harry felt a bit more at ease within the closed booth, where it felt like just the two of them. Outside, the sun was setting, the sky a beautiful picture of pinks and oranges, and the soft light filtered through the glass, and fell on Louis, making him look like he was glowing. Harry sighed; was that a normal train of thought?

Their feet kept nudging each other (at this point Harry wasn’t even sure if it was accidental) and his heart just about leapt into his throat.

“So Harry,” Louis speaking startled him, and he saw that he was already flicking through the menu, “what are you ordering?”

“Uhhh….whatever you’re having,” he said, a little rushed.

“Harry. You didn’t even look at the menu,” Louis said, confused.

 _Oh shit. It didn’t particularly matter to him._ “You know this place, Lou. Whatever you choose, I’m sure I’ll like.” He let out a breath as Louis seemed to buy it, and smiled at him.

As the waiter came in and turned to them, Harry tried to smile back politely, but he was sure it came off more as a grimace. He first turned to Louis, and asked him his order, and Louis rattling off whatever dish he’d chosen (some kind of pasta) flew over his head _because oh no he’s gonna have to speak up next that won’t do._

Harry’s hands were trembling minutely, and his mind blanked as the waiter turned to him. “What will you like to have, sir?”

Louis placed his hand over Harry’s shaking one. “He’ll have the same,” he spoke for him instead, and he nearly teared up, because no one could ever understand how much such small social interaction could wind him up. Harry shot him a grateful smile as the waiter left, which earned him a squeeze of the hand, before it was gone, and he tried not to let his face fall.

“Hey,” Louis said softly, and Harry looked at him, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Harry said earnestly, because he was, his anxiety always fucked up everything, and Louis must’ve read that wrong.

“Are you sure? You don’t look too comfortable; do you want to leave babe?”

“No!” Harry retorted quickly. “Its not that…it’s just….”

Louis’ careful attention was trained on him. “What is it love? You know you can tell me.”

“It’s just this worry….that somehow something will go wrong….most likely because of me,” he managed, never being able to put his feelings into words. _He was being stupid, that is what it was._

“Harry, you won’t. What could you possibly do that will make me upset at you? Don’t worry.”

“I know. I just can’t help it,” he mumbled helplessly. Louis looked like he was in thought for a moment.

“Alright. What can I do to take your mind off it?” He asked instead, and Harry was surprised because Louis was still being so nice.

“Talk,” he blurted out. Louis raised a brow in question. “I like listening to you talk. It helps.”

Louis’ lips quirked up into an understanding smile. “Okay. What do you want me to talk about?”

Harry hummed in contemplation, before saying happily, “Your family.” Louis lit up as well. Harry loved listening to Louis talk about his family, as he did every so often. He always lit up like the sun, features turning soft and affectionate. It was obvious he cared deeply about them.

And so he went on, talking enthusiastically about what each of his sisters have been up to, and about how his mum always called him daily and reminded him to do trivial, but vital things, like do his laundry (Harry had snorted at that, shaking his head in disbelief), and about his youngest siblings, Doris and Ernest and how much he missed them. Up until their food arrived.

Louis was quick to dig in, and Harry followed suit, a little less eagerly, carefully serving himself a smaller portion. The food was good; he just didn’t want or feel like having copious amounts of it.

“…Mmm this is the best I’ve ever had,” Louis said appreciatively. Harry gazed at him skeptically.

“I’ve a feeling you say that about most things.”

Louis gasped dramatically. “No I don’t! My judgment is fair and rare.”

Harry grinned cheekily. “Maybe you’re just easily impressed.”

“Not always. You however, did impress me with your pastries, cakes and stuff.”

Harry felt his cheeks go warm, yet, with a smug smile, he said, “I can cook well too.” He said that with ease, because he knew he was a pro at that.

Louis’ eyebrows shot up. “Getting ahead of ourselves there, now, are we?”

“Nope. I’m good. Really.”

“I don’t doubt that, I’ll take your word for it,” Louis said with a grin, his mouth half full, and Harry couldn’t help but smile back.

After a few minutes of silently eating, Louis spoke up, eyes held in that constant shine. “So Harry, when do I get to taste your cooking, seeing as you seem very confident in your skills?”

“One day drop by home, and maybe I’ll whip something up for you,” he said without thinking, even surprising himself as he realized it. And by the looks of it, Louis too, as he smirked at him coyly.

“Shall I hold on to that, Harold?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry hummed; he was probably kidding.

At some point, Louis had also ordered a big slice of chocolate gateau, despite Harry’s protests of him being too full, so now they both were sharing that, with him cringing on the inside, and trying not to think of how much its going to stick on to his body.

“You know,” Louis began, conversationally, “the twins would love you. Both the older and the younger ones.”

Harry looked at him with wide eyes. “….Why?”

“Well, you can bake, can sing, and do cute shit, they would totally be smitten with you. Meanwhile, while I’m babysitting them, they ask to bake cookies and I’ve to dodge that because I don’t want to burn down the kitchen,” he laughed.

Harry blinked in shock, before realizing that Louis was probably not implying anything, just casually saying it instead.

“I love kids,” he replied happily.

“I figured,” Louis said with a blinding, knowing smile.

“You’ve got chocolate on your mouth,” Louis pointed out once they were done, and Harry hastily wiped it away with a small blush. All through the evening, there had never been a dull moment, and not a moment where conversation lulled. Louis had asked him about the few tattoos he had on his arms only, and vice versa. He never knew just talking with someone could ever be so comfortable and pleasant; it had always been the opposite.

They left after paying for their meal, with Louis flat out refusing to let Harry pay, and it was dark outside as they walked out, not late, but definitely not early. Time flies when you’re having fun. And though his nerves kept creeping in, he was having a good time, because with Louis, he felt like he could stop worrying as much.

After a few minutes of driving, Harry was confused. It didn’t look like they were directly heading home.

“Are we not going home now? I mean…uh, me. Are you not dropping me off?”he asked, voice laced with confusion.

Louis hesitated. “Uh, that depends on you actually.” That only added to Harry’s confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Louis rubbed the back of his neck a little apprehensively. “Yeah. I was thinking that I could also show you around my place, maybe watch a movie.”

Harry panicked, mind running a mile a minute. _Why? And most importantly, does he want to go? What would happen if he did? And why, just why was he not as opposed to it?_

Louis’ comforting voice broke him out of his temporary stupor. _“_ Hey, _hey,_ you’re stressing out, I can tell. I only want to show you my place, just chill with you a little more, nothing more, nothing less. You can opt out if you’d like,” he offered, and then more softly, sincerely, “I had a good time Harry, I just want to draw it out a bit longer.”

Harry felt himself ease a little at that. He trusted Louis. Why then would he not agree to that?

He smiled meekly. “What movie will be watching?”

Louis’ face lit up immediately. “Is that a yes? You wanna come?” Harry hummed in response, pressing his head against the window, hoping the shadows on his face would hide his ridiculous grin.

“One of your favorites, Harry.” Louis replied. Harry sighed happily.

In a while, they had pulled up to the drive way of Louis’ massive house, and Harry was sure he was gaping very unattractively.

“Come on love,” Louis guided him up to the door, and upon opening, the lights inside switched on, and Harry gasped a little in wonder. As he stepped in, eyes wandering over the place, flitting over the grandeur, his first thought was, _this place is so bloody huge!_

As Louis shows him around the spacious, contemporary styled house, with massive bedrooms, and well lit halls, Harry just takes everything in awe, gaze lingering around. He gets a little intimidated by the sheer expensive vibe that rolled off everything in the house, but then, he thinks about how much Louis earned this for himself, and it makes him oddly proud of Louis.

When they get to the kitchen, he squeals a little in delight, it being the area of his expertise.

“You have all this,” he began in amazement, gesturing around to the large, well furnished kitchen, “and you don’t cook?! That’s a shame.”

Louis rolled his eyes at him. “It’d be a bigger shame if I burned down the kitchen right?”

“Yeah. Forgot that you burned your popcorn once,” Harry teased, and took delight in Louis’ cheeks tingeing pink.

“You’re getting too cheeky on me, Harold,” he muttered, though he didn’t look like he was complaining. Harry merely smirked a little at him, as Louis lead him up to the French doors at the end of the kitchen, and out it, to an even bigger backyard. In the middle of it was a pool, now glistening with lights that shone underneath the water surface.

‘Wow,” Harry finally said breathlessly, and Louis chuckled softly at him.

“Such a big house, and you’ve to live here, all alone? Doesn’t that get lonely?”  Harry asked. Louis shook his head.

“Rarely. My family often comes and stays, all those rooms serve purpose.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“Let’s go inside love, it is chilly outside.”

They headed inside, and to the living room, where Louis had already dimmed the lights (how fancy) and was setting up the TV. Harry sank down into one of the many couches, and sighed relaxingly.

“What movie are we watching?” he asked.

Louis returned to where he was sitting. “Titanic,” he said, smiling knowingly, and Harry settled in happily. “I love that.”

Louis was sat on the same couch as he was, with quite a distance between them, probably giving Harry the option to move closer if he wished; it was bothering him a bit. As the movie progressed, the distance between them grew smaller, and in the almost darkness, Harry wasn’t sure who was moving closer.

But at one point, as he inched a little closer, Louis’ words had him freezing. “You know that I don’t mind right?”

 _Well damn. Caught._ “W-what?” he asked nonchalantly.

Louis turned to look at him, amusement evident. “Come here, silly,” he said, patting the space just next to him, and _okay,_ Harry shyly moved in closer till he was comfortably nestled into his side, the warmth from him extremely welcoming. Louis gently ran his fingers through his hair, and Harry sighed at the soft touch, leaving behind his worries for a bit.

Despite being the taller one of them two, he fit himself right against Louis, head leaning slightly against his shoulder. It startled him a bit, the thought that he could get used to this. This, being able to be close to someone, to fall into a trust easily and not doubt their every word, to spend time with someone who was open to understanding him. All of that was scary, had him almost terrified, but in the strangest way, he wanted that.

All through the movie, while Louis seemed to be engrossed in what he was watching, Harry was a little distracted, by his own thoughts, and by small things, like Louis’ breathing, his fingers continuously either running absentmindedly through his hair, or just pressing into his shoulder comfortingly.

At one point, halfway through the movie, he raised his head up just a little, and was stunned at how he even got to spend time with this ethereal man next to him. Lights off the TV were dancing across his face and shining in his eyes, casting shadows on his face; Harry thought he had never been more beautiful, he was struck, for a moment that seemed to slow down.

And of course, his staring must have been obvious, because Louis turned to look at him, gaze intense, neither of them could look away. They both knew what was coming, and Harry wasn’t sure if he minded, not when Louis’ gaze kept flitting between his eyes and his lips.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Because with Louis, it was almost easy, effortless, to cut the strings of worry and unease holding him back. Harry _trusted_ him, inexplicably so. He couldn’t place his feelings; all he knew was he felt safe with Louis, knew he wouldn’t hurt him. And he wanted that feeling for a constant time.

But as Louis inched his face closer, his nerves crept in, small, unsure, but there. Louis paused, nudging against his nose with his.

“Only if you want to, Haz,” he spoke softly into the space between them, low but sincere. Of course he did.

Harry’s eyes fluttered shut as he tilted his face up in response, permission, and that was all that was needed for Louis to close the space between them, surging down and capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. Harry melted into his bones as their lips moved against each other, slow and sweet, Louis cradling his neck and caressing the side of his face with this thumb. Harry kissed him back a little more fervently, actions trying to convey the feelings he knew words couldn’t.

Louis broke away first, stopping a second, before he swiftly pecked his lips once more, and resting their foreheads together in silence, the movie in the background tuned out. Harry felt a little breathless; if he’d known kissing him was that exhilarating and wonderful, he’d have been open to it earlier.

“Harry?” The words were a mere whisper, lips grazing as Louis spoke.

“Hmm?” he hummed contently.

“What are you thinking?” it was asked out of curiosity, not urging, just thoughtful.

“About how much I enjoyed that,” Harry mumbled honestly, daringly, because Louis needed to know that it was okay.

Louis chuckled against him. “Yeah? If I had known that, I’d have kissed you earlier.”

Harry finally pulled his head away a little, beaming up at Louis, who was looking at him the same way. He rested his head back on Louis’ shoulder and Louis kissed the side of his head, making him sigh happily. He suddenly felt much lighter, almost dizzy with the overwhelming giddiness he was feeling.

After a few moments, he asked the one question that hadn’t left his mind all day. “So,” he began, not taking his eyes off the TV, “was today a date?”

He turned to look at Louis as he felt his gaze on him. Louis was smiling coyly, gaze fixed on him. “I don’t know, you tell me.” Harry looked at him intently for a moment, before turning away to giggle into the crook of his neck.

“You’re not too subtle,” he mumbled into his skin, and Louis chuckled in response.

“So why didn’t you confront me about it?”

Harry raised his head, looking down. “I wasn’t sure, I didn’t want to believe it was, only to be let down.”

Louis gently lifted his face up to look at him. “I’d never let you down Harry. In case it wasn’t obvious, I care about you.”

Harry nods, and they both go back to finishing the movie. Towards the end, Louis notices he was tearing up, and though he looked amused, he soothingly thumbed under his eyes, touch lingering. Even merely sitting at this proximity was making Harry’s head spin, feeling lightheaded in the best way.

Once the movie was over, and the credits were rolling, Louis kisses his forehead, and then asked, “It’s late love. Would you like to stay the night?”

Harry froze. _Wasn’t that a little too much too fast? Should he stay? Is it wrong that he does want to stay?_

“Harry, hey,” Louis snapped him out of his thoughts. “Don’t take it in another way. I mean, its late, and I don’t want to leave you now. We don’t need to sleep in the same room, you can have the guest room,” Louis rushed to say, “or in fact, you can take my room, it’s the most comfortable, I can take any of the other rooms.”

Harry thought about it for a moment. He didn’t trust himself to be alone after today, he wasn’t sure how bad of a drop it would be to go home alone after this overwhelming of a day. Maybe it was best to spend the night. If he was alone, the intensity of his own thoughts may swallow him. With Louis, he didn’t need to fear.

“Okay,” he agreed, and Louis looked relieved.

“Alright love, I’ll show you up to my room, come on.” Louis lead him upstairs to his room, which, like the rest of them, was large and inviting. A huge bed, big windows, and everything spacious and rich.  And right now, it appeared to be too large to sleep alone in, the idea not sitting well with him.

As Louis turned to leave, Harry grasped his arm. “Louis?”

“Yes babe?”

“Don’t leave. Stay,” he requested timidly.

“Sure?” he asked

“Yeah,” Harry replied affirmatively.

“Alright, let me just look for clothes you can wear to sleep,” Louis said, ruffling through his drawers. Exhaustion hit Harry hard as Louis finally handed him some soft clothes, which happened to smell like him, making him all the more sleepy.

“You can change, I’ll be back in a second,” Louis said, and Harry nodded at him.

 

Louis had gone down to double check if all the doors were locked. Upon returning to the room, he saw a very sleepy Harry, in his own loose clothes, rubbing his eyes like a sleepy child, and his heart caught at the preciousness of it. He was adorable without even trying.

“Get into bed Harry, I’ll switch of the lights.” Harry looked at him unsure.

“You can sleep on the left side; I always sleep on the right,” he clarified, and Harry finally got in under the covers. Louis switched off the light, leaving the bed lamp on at a dim setting, and climbed under the covers next to Harry, a little space left between them; he didn’t want to overwhelm him.

He leaned over for a second, kissing Harry sweetly for a brief moment, smiling against his lips as he felt Harry gasp in surprise, before pulling back and lying down. Harry was looking at him, slight blush just visible in the dim light, dimples in place as he was smiling sleepily.

“Goodnight Harry, if you need anything, wake me up,” he said softly.

Harry inched a bit closer, curling up a bit, covers tucked under his chin. “Goodnight Lou, thanks for today.”

And within a matter of minutes, Louis watched as Harry’s eyes fluttered close, face settling into a calm expression, breathing evening out. It was peaceful, that moment, as Louis took in Harry’s features, and he was beautiful. He couldn’t believe that he got to kiss the beauty that was lying next to him.

As Louis prepared to sleep, he felt Harry move next to him. And then smiled fondly, as Harry, in his sleep, moved closer to him till he was curled into his side, no space left between them. _Looks like he’s a cuddlebug._

There was a pinch in Harry’s forehead, and as Louis wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his forehead, he turned serene once more, nuzzling his neck into Louis and responding to the touch. Louis smiled. He would do anything to make Harry feel as safe as he did now, and he was glad that he had been given a chance to. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, their breaths falling and rising in peaceful slumber.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear fucking christ its been ages, and i am incredibly sorry for that. some of you know why, and i truly appreciate your patience, to any and all who still read this. I am trying my best. but one thing we both can tell you; we aren't gonna stop this fic till we are done. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, we hope you like this, if you dont then ahh idk, better next time.
> 
> Its a filler chapter mainly, credits for ideas and plot goes to my lovely bestfriend and co author (shush angel, I can nearly hear you protest). 
> 
> THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:  
> anything negative that Harry thinks about himself in this, is his perception. he isn't any of those things, neither in fic, nor in real life. keep in mind its fiction, and not me being ugly about him.
> 
> I have kept most of it as realistic as possible, including the mentions of mental health issues. Trust me, I'd know.
> 
>  
> 
> that's it, I hope you enjoy (I'm sorry for taking so long, i suck)

 

 The first feeling that hit harry when he was waking up, was bone deep contentment and peace. The kind of satisfaction you get after a good sleep. Which was strange, because Harry rarely got good sleep. Eyes still closed, he frowned against the pillow. Except, he realized in his sleep disoriented state, that it was warm, and _moving._

Harry opened his eyes to be met with a body, and he pulled away from the hold, breathing rapid, till he realized its Louis. _Wait, Louis? Why was Louis in his bed. Oh wait…_ He blinked slowly. This wasn’t his room. It was…Louis. Yesterday’s events quickly came rushing to him, he had gone out with Louis, come back to his house, and they…they had kissed.

Harry knew he was smiling like a fool but he couldn’t even bring himself to care. _Louis had kissed him!_ It wasn’t just unrequited feelings; Louis felt the same. So how could he not be giddy? He relaxed, and gazed at Louis’ sleeping form, and cuddled back in closer, tucking himself next to him and sighing happily.

He couldn’t help but stare at Louis’ peaceful face, the curve of his lips, his lashes brushing the tops of his high cheeks, and tousled, soft hair. With his even breathing, Harry found an indescribable content, and he smiled briefly into Louis’ chest, thinking about how lucky he was.

Pulling back just a bit, the intoxicating yet subtle scent on Louis was filling him with a sense of peace. Daringly, he lifted a hand, to gently caress the side of Louis’ face, not wanting him to wake up and break the quiet happiness of the moment. But Louis apparently was a steady sleeper; he didn’t stir, except for slightly twitching at the touch. Harry traced over his face in awe, throwing boundaries out of the window for a bit.

Slowly, unknowingly, he leaned in; Louis’ soft breathing mixing with Harry’s slightly excited one, till he realized their proximity. And then lost his nerve. Instead, he gently grazed his lips over Louis’, and that was just enough to make his insides jittery.

Harry then pulled back, staring at Louis’ face some more with an unabashed smile, till he slowly slipped out from under the covers and out of the bed. He couldn’t fall back asleep anyways, so he thought he might as well get up. Trying not to make a noise, he quietly stepped over to the bathroom, Louis still sound asleep.

Once he got out, he headed back towards the direction of the bed, planning on just waiting till Louis woke up, when he froze. A couple of steps away from the foot of the bed, was a large, full length mirror. And harry hated that he was going to do what he always did, hated that he knew what was coming yet couldn’t stop it. He gingerly took a few steps towards it, and stopped, breath coming out in a sharp huff.

It was an instinct reaction to screw his eyes shut in pain every time his eyes fell upon his reflection; something he’d grown accustomed to doing so often, that he didn’t realize he was going on the usual downward spiral anymore. Breathing in sharply, he reluctantly opened his eyes, and dragged it up his body, feeling his stomach churn.

One glance at his pasty reflection and face had him feeling like the breath was knocked out of him. An irrational, overwhelming feeling of hatred towards himself took over, and he was helpless, he could never stop it. From his huge hands to his hip chubs, to his huge thighs to his too large smile and face, he hated everything about him so much; _he wanted to break every single reflective surface ever. So he didn’t ever have to see himself again._

Harry hands involuntarily played with the edge of his shirt, gaze at his face cold and empty. _Don’t do it. Don’t put yourself through this again. Don’t,_ a part of him echoed, yet the sadistic and pain thriving bit of him won over, and with a sad, twisted smile, Harry lifted up the shirt, exposing his tummy. And he immediately half regretted it, tears pricking his eyes. He shook his head, drawing in a shaky breath. He was not going to cry, not with Louis in the room.

And yet, he couldn’t tear his eyes away, being repulsed by all the fat that clung to his body. Yesterday, and the past few days, he had been lost in the moment, with Louis, and he was the cause of this gain, only he was to blame for what he did to himself. _If only you hadn’t eaten as much as you did. If only you were harsher on yourself._ Repetitive thoughts of ‘ _you are fat, you are ugly, you are unwanted,’_ echoed around in his mind and it felt like the walls were closing in on him.

In the mirror, he could see his bottom lip start to tremble, and nose flaring, all telltale signs of a breakdown. _But not here, not now._ He gasped, still stuck to the same spot, hands still bunching up his shirt, swaying. Blinking back tears, grimacing in an effort not to cry. _Don’t be so fucking weak._

Back in bed, Louis was waking up, turning over and spread one arm, frowning sluggishly when his hands landed on empty sheets; Harry was not next to him. He knew Harry was next to him all night; Louis had woken up a couple of times to see if he was sleeping well, and every time he was met with a sound asleep Harry, fist clutching his shirt in his sleep, and Louis would kiss his head and go back to sleep.

He blinked open his eyes, and for a moment, wondered where Harry was, till he nearly jumped a bit as his sweeping gaze fell on him, who was standing a couple of feet away from the bed, staring at….. _his mirror?_

Confused, Louis sat up, wondering why Harry seemed frozen to the spot. From where he was sat, he could see Harry, but Harry couldn’t see him in the reflection. What was stranger was that Harry had his shirt slightly lifted up, revealing his tummy. But then, it hit him, what seemed _off._ He had a feeling he knew why Harry seemed to be rooted and unwaveringly staring at his reflection. His insides twisted slightly in unease as he softly slipped out of bed, and walked over to Harry, not wanting to startle him.

Louis slowly went to stand behind Harry, who seemed lost in his thoughts, and rested his hands on top of the exposed skin of Harry’s tummy and he flinched, quickly pulling his shirt down, looking at him in the mirror, eyes filled with fear and uncertainty, as if he was waiting for him to question him. Louis didn’t break the gaze, and simply rested his palms on Harry’s tummy again, now on top of the cloth. Harry’s body was tense; seemingly still waiting for Louis to remark.

Louis, still looking at Harry in the mirror, smiled reassuringly, and resting his chin on Harry’s shoulder, mumbled quietly, “Good morning, love.” And that was all it took for the tension to break, and Harry sagged back into Louis, sighing out an equally quiet “Morning, Lou.”

They were still looking at each other in the mirror. Still smiling, Louis gently kissed Harry’s shoulder where his shirt was not covering it, and smiled wider at the quiet gasp and jolt that Harry let out. He lingered for a second; getting to know Harry was wonderful, and now being able to know what made him tick, and what got a reaction out of him was even sweeter. Louis lifted his head; Harry was looking at him, calmer now.

“Did you sleep well, babe?” Louis asked him, gently swaying them from side to side, and Harry seemed to melt into the touch.

“Yeah, yeah I did,” he answered earnestly, and smiled weakly, gaze never leaving Louis, but his eyes told a different story. Harry brought up his hands, and linked his fingers through Louis’, both their hands resting just below his chest.

“Hmm,” Louis hummed into his skin, wanting nothing more than Harry to feel at ease. A few quiet minutes passed, both of them content, till he asked, “What are you thinking about, Harry?”

Harry shook his head, and shrugged. “I was just thinking how much I enjoyed last night.”

Louis knew that was not what he was thinking, but decided to not question it. “Hmm? I’m glad you did, love. I’d have been disappointed if you didn’t have a good time.”

Harry gripped his hand tighter, and then let go, turning around to face him properly. “Do you want breakfast? I can make it if you want,” he said shyly, and Louis lit up, tucking a curl behind Harry’s ear and briefly caressing the side of his face. Harry was looking at him, soft blush dusting his cheeks, and oh how much he loved that.

“Yes, of course Haz, only if it isn’t too much trouble and only if you want to.” Harry nodded eagerly, and before Louis could see it coming, he swiftly kissed his cheek and skipped away happily downstairs. Louis was pleasantly surprised, and stood there grinning like a fool for a moment, till the image of Harry looking at his own reflection with contempt returned to his mind. He didn’t know what was going through Harry’s mind, but he’d know in time, he guessed. He didn’t want to push anything.

After freshening up, Louis went downstairs, and he could hear pans clanging, and without missing a beat, he headed towards the kitchen, and stopped at the doorframe, heart catching. Harry was working around in the kitchen, looking like he belonged there. He had put on an apron which Louis had never seen, moving about in his own clothes, back towards him. His hair was up in a bun, a few tiny curls escaping, and he was humming lowly, looking so utterly content.

It reminded him of the first day he met Harry, after he had left, when he was just in his own little world, singing and being cute. Louis couldn’t stop the same fond smile he had got that day from spreading across his face. The whole scene, looked so domestic, and it was almost overwhelming, but it was also nice. He should have been cautious, how fast he was falling for Harry, and how hard, but instead, he just felt, _whole._ Like Harry was missing in his life before.

With a tiny smirk playing on his lips, he tip toed over to where Harry was standing, unaware, and catching him off guard, cried ‘Boo!!’ into his ear, and hugged him from behind. Harry shrieked, startled, and swatted at his arm, body going taut, freezing for longer than necessary. And that’s when he had realized, touch, was something he should be thoughtful about, around Harry.

Yet, a second later, Harry loosens up, and Louis squeezed him tighter for a bit, before letting go, and the younger lad turned to face him with a pout.

“Aww, did I scare you love?” He asked, smiling innocently. Harry nods exaggeratedly, widening his eyes. He was gonna be the death of Louis.

“Sorry baby,” Louis shrugged, and kissed his cheek, Harry blinking daintily at him. Louis hopped up on the counter, and sat there, swaying his legs.

“What are you making, Harold?” he asked, inquisitively. Harry turned to him with a wide grin.

“How do you feel about chocolate chip pancakes?” Louis let out an almost squeal of excitement, which was all the answer Harry needed, chuckling at him.

“Ooh, do you want me to help?” Louis asked, already knowing the answer. Harry shot him an incredulous look.

“And what, burn your wonderful kitchen down?”

Harry was only teasing him, and playing along, it was his turn to pout at him animatedly.

“You’re mean.”

“You didn’t deny it, did you now?” Harry asked with a shit eating grin, and really, he was getting too cheeky, but Louis was nothing but thrilled at how much open and unguarded he was now.

“Tell you what,” Harry began, whisking the batter already, “can you fetch me the chocolate chips?”

“Please,” he added, and Louis readily hopped down. “So polite, how can I say no?” he mused.

He went up to the cupboard where the packet was (which he only knew because he sneaked a few often) and opened it, frowning when he saw it was placed at the topmost shelf. Oh boy.

He rised up on his toes, stretching to reach it, but to his immense displeasure, it was just a little too high for him to reach. He huffed in annoyance, _damn it._ He heard Harry chuckle, and turned around to see him smirk in amusement.

“You’re tiny, aren’t you?” he asked, voice shaking with mirth, and laughter he was holding back. If he hadn’t been as adorable as he was, and if Louis wasn’t as smitten with him, he’d be a little annoyed but. Seeing Harry look as delighted as he did, to see his eyes positively twinkle with it, was rare, and he couldn’t even be mad about it, ever.

“I am not tiny, Harold!” he retorted half heartedly, as Harry leaned over him, brushing up against him and took it with ease. _Stupidly cute lanky little shit._

“And I’m not Harold either,” he retorted lightly, cocking his head at him.

“Oh I know. I don’t hear you complaining though.”

Harry smiled coyly and turned around, and shaking his head muttered ‘tiny’ just loud enough for Louis to hear, and he could only helplessly smile.

“Lou?” Harry asked, peering into the packet.

“Yeah?”

“This is half empty.” He looked at him over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes and a knowing look on his face.

“Uh, I may or may not have eaten a bit of that,” he said sheepishly, shrugging and rubbing his neck.

“Someone’s got a sweet tooth,” Harry sang, and Louis rolled his eyes.

“That much is obvious, Haz. Why else do you think I come to your bakery almost daily?”

Harry gasped in fake offence. “What? You don’t come to see me!?”

Louis’ smile was giving it away. “Well, that’s a plus I suppose.”

Harry touched his chest dramatically. “I knew it! I can’t believe you were using me for my brilliant cooking.” He sniffed, and Louis was beyond endeared.

“That’s just it, Harold, you’ve hit the nail on the head.” Harry giggled at him, and _Louis was gonna collapse._

After a few more minutes of playful banter, the inviting smell of pancakes hit him, and he hummed in appreciation.

“I swear, you work magic love, it smells delicious. You really have a way with cooking,” he said earnestly, which earned him a meek ‘thanks’ and the prettiest blush. And that was one thing Louis had noticed; Harry always seemed to be really surprised when he was complimented, like he wasn’t used to it. Which only made him want to praise Harry all the more, because he deserved only that.

In a few minutes, Harry set laid out the table, and set out the pancakes, and he’d be lying if he said his mouth wasn’t watering.

“Breakfast’s ready!” Harry exclaimed, with a flourish. Louis smiled, and stepped closer to him, trapping him against the counter.

“I want a kiss before we eat. You’re my treat,” he said lowly, and watched as Harry’s eyes widened.

“Treat for what? Being a menace?” Harry asked, a teasing lilt to his voice.

Louis laughed in surprise. “Nope, for waking up early.”

“It isn’t early. It’s 8 in the morning.”

“Early for me.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but leaned in closer, and ducked his head shyly. Louis smiled softly, and lifted his chin, curling his fingers around the side of Harry’s neck, and pressed a sweet kiss onto his lips. Harry kissed harder for a brief second, before pulling away, and Louis hummed happily, and they both sat down.

Louis immediately dove in, relishing the taste and Harry followed, a little less enthusiastically. He probably looked like he hadn’t ate for days, but he couldn’t care less.

“When was the last time you had a real breakfast?” At Harry’s amused question, Louis lifted his head, to see him watching him. Louis smiled sheepishly.

“Eh, does cereal count as real breakfast?” Harry shook his head at him, laughing. He unlike Louis, was taking small bites, and just pushing around his food.

When he looked up after a bit, Harry was still watching him, gaze fixed on his mouth. Louis smiled devilishly.

“My eyes are up here love,” he joked, and Harry immediately snapped his gaze up, face flushing. He didn’t say anything; he appeared to be deep in thought.

“What’s wrong love? Aren’t you hungry?” Harry shook his head, and ate hesitantly. It took him a while to notice that Harry was constantly tugging at his clothes, fidgeting, pulling down his sleeves. He looked agitated, and Louis didn’t know why, but he had a feeling asking was not going to get him answers.

Without a word, he took one of Harry’s hands that was resting on the table in his, and squeezed it, and hooked their ankles together under the table. Harry looked at him questioningly, but Louis said nothing, and instead started playing with his fingers. It seemed to distract Harry enough that the frown on his face left, and they finished the rest of the breakfast in peace.

After breakfast, Harry had insisted on doing the dishes, despite Louis protesting that he could help. But then his mum had called, so he had gone upstairs to take the call; it had been a while and he missed his mum’s voice.

He was in the middle of talking to her about yesterday, and she was telling him about how much the younger twins missed him, when Harry came into the room. He stood at the door, eyebrow raised in question, and Louis smiled, and mumbled a ‘come on love.’ Harry joined him on the bed, staying quiet.

“Who’s that you’re talking to, Louis?” his mum asked him, and his smile grew. His mum knew, he always told his mum everything.

“Its Harry,” he said, and Harry looked panicked a bit. His mum on the other end, got excited.

“Is he there? Harry as in the boy you’re seemingly head over heels for?”

“Mum…” he whined, and his mum laughed. God he missed her so much.

“Can I talk to him? From what you told me, he seems lovely.” Louis didn’t mind, and held out the phone to Harry, who looked at him confusingly.

“Its me mum, she wants to talk to you. Don’t worry, she’s nice,” he chuckled, but that quickly stopped when he saw the alarm pass over Harry’s face, who froze.

“Harry? Babe?” Harry wasn’t responding, and he had gone pale.

“Louis what’s wrong?” his mum was asking. Louis was worried.

“uhh mum, I’ll talk to you later okay? Harry doesn’t feel too well. I love you.”

He hung up, and Harry was heaving out breaths, gaze unfocused, and he had curled up tight, rocking back and forth slightly, mumbling ‘no no no no,’ over and over. Louis was starting to get really worried.

“Haz? What’s wrong?” he lay a hand on Harry’s shoulder and Harry flinched, snapping his head up.

“N-nothing….i just..I can’t….Your mum, I am not- Lou” he was sputtering out words, eyes wide in worry and he was breathing shallow, looking like he was going to break, and it was unnerving to Louis to see him like that; he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to help.

Hoping what he was doing was right, he pulled Harry into his hold, wrapping both his arms and legs around his curled form from the back, pulling him right against his chest. Harry was minutely trembling, still muttering broken words of ‘…I can’t….I’m sorry.’

Louis held him tight, stroking his hair, and whispering assuring words and sweet nothings into him, and instructing him to breathe in time with his words. It seemed to take awhile for Harry to at least calm down a notch, but he was still looking troubled.

“Babe, do you want to tell me what’s wrong, hmm?” he asked quietly, petting his hair, and Harry was sagging into him.

“Its- its nothing….I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, didn’t mean to, fuck I’m so sorry I” Harry was stammering out in a rush, sounding apologetic, and it hurt him to see him like this.

Louis intertwined their fingers for a bit. “Shh baby, its alright, okay? I’ve got you. You’re okay. Don’t be sorry. What happened love?”

“I-I just…” Harry heaved a sigh, “I’m….i’m not good ….at talking to people. A-and she’s your mum….i could’ve, I’d fuck up, she’d think I’m pathetic….she’s important, and I’m just….I’m me and I always ruin things…couldn’t talk, wasn’t ready Lou, I’m sorry I so so sorry. Please.” Words were tumbling out from his mouth, raw, undecided, and Louis hushed him, kissing his head.

“Shh honey, I’ve got you. You’re more than okay, I promise you. Just listen to me, focus on me, alright? She’d have loved you, you’re lovely baby. You could just tell me, you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. Next time, just tell me Haz, you’re okay. I’m here, hmm?” Louis gently massaged his shoulders, trying to get him to relax, and it seemed to be working, as Harry fell into him, pliant and just listening, breathing normally.

After a bit, Harry seemed to be fine, and Louis had to keep asking him to stop being sorry for not being comfortable with speaking. He was still in Louis’s arms, playing with his fingers idly, and mumbled a soft ‘thank you’ and Louis just kissed his temple.

“Haz?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me, what do you want to do today? Anywhere in particular you want to go? Or not? It’s up to you,” he asked, and Harry looked up at him, blinking slowly.

“You….you want to do something together?” he asked dubiously, and Louis couldn’t believe that Harry was still so innocently unsure about this.

“Of course love, if you’d want it too, that is.” Harry seemed to ease at that, and looked thoughtful for a moment. And as Louis watched, his face slowly lit up, dimples popping.

“What is it?” Louis gently nudged him, and Harry shook his head slowly.

“It’s a bit lame but…”

“No, tell me.”

“There’s this flower nursery, and right now, they have a flower show going on.”

“Alright, we’ll go?” Louis asked, because he knew how much Harry loved flowers, and anything to make him happy, was something he was ready to do.

“I mean….I know its not the best idea Lou, we don’t have to,” he said wistfully, and Louis hated that he always thought that his needs or opinions weren’t important enough.

“No Haz, its not lame. We’ll go. It’ll be different, but pleasant,” he assured, and Harry looked at him, uncertain.

“Are you sure?”

Louis kissed the corner of his mouth, and smoothed his curls. “Yeah. Of course. We can go in a few if you’d like.”

Harry nodded eagerly. “Yeah, that’s be great. Thank you Louis,” he pressed earnestly. And then, in a lower tone, “thank you, for everything.” Louis waved him off, and untangled his limbs from around Harry, suggesting that they get dressed, go while it’s still morning and the weather was lovely outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The nursery was only a short distance away from Louis’ house, so taking advantage of the beautiful weather, they had decided to walk, and it was nice, to just be in each other’s company. Finally, they reached the place, and Harry was already looking very happy, dimples in place, and breathing the perfume scented air in deeply. _Everything was so worth it if this was what his happiness looked like._

It was a very large nursery, quite busy with people everywhere admiring the flowers, buying them, taking pictures. The heady scent of flowers mixed together, and it was different, yet pleasant. Harry looked like a kid on Christmas morning, face beaming, a little skip to his walk. _He was so fucked. And smitten._

Harry had stopped by a bunch of petunias, so vibrant in various colors. By itself, it wasn’t extraordinary, but in a bunch, they were a visual treat. Harry turned to Louis, overjoyed. Among all the pretty flowers, he seemed to fit in just right, with his rosy cheeks and wide green eyes. And then he nearly wanted to slap himself for that thought because _just how fucking deep in was he?_

“They’re pretty, aren’t they Lou?” He asked, stopping to smell a few flowers, and scrunching up his nose when he inhaled all the pollen instead. And really, Louis shouldn’t have found that as endearing as he did.

“Yeah, they’re lovely,” he easily agreed. “But I’ll tell you what’s prettier?”

“Hmm?” Harry hummed, standing close, looking at him intensely, and not for the first time, Louis was struck by how beautiful Harry was.

“You.” He said simply, and watched as Harry bit his lip, trying to stop a smile that was already on his face. Louis took his hand, intertwining their fingers, plucking a tiny flower and tucking it into his curls; the blinding smile he got in return was everything.

“There are so many bees,” Louis commented randomly, while walking with Harry down rows upon rows of all types of flowers. Harry laughed.

“Of course there are bees, Lou. Bees are found near flowers. Common knowledge. Why, are you scared of them?” he asked teasingly.

“No, I’m not. They’re just so big!” he exclaimed, and narrowed his eyes at Harry’s growing smirk. _He was up to no good._

“You just think that; after all you’re small.” And Louis was right; but he couldn’t complain, not when Harry looked that pleased with himself.

“Shut it Harold. Go sniff a flower,” he said playfully, shoving him gently, and Harry giggled, stumbling away to go in deeper, and look at some exotic flowers. Louis watched him pull out his phone, and take a few pictures, a pleased little grin on his face. Watching Harry be himself was even better than looking at the flowers.

After a while, he couldn’t spot Harry; he wasn’t too worried, he was probably just engrossed in admiring the place. But just as he was thinking that, Harry popped back into his vision. There he was now, with a simple flower crown made with tiny white flowers carefully placed on his head. He walked towards where Louis was standing, ducking shyly.

He touched the crown a bit insecurely. “Is it….is it bad? Some kids were making it, so I thought I’d buy one. It made them happy.”

Louis just wanted to wrap him up and kiss him senseless; he was too pure.

“Bad? Baby you look beautiful with it, it was nice of you to do,” he said, tucking his curls behind his ear and adjusting the crown, “You’re a flower yourself.”

Harry bumped into him with how profusely he blushed. He was looking at a few photos on his phone, and when Louis tried to peek a look, he clutched it against his chest.

“I see. What have you got there Harold?” he asked, advancing towards him, and Harry giggled, taking a step back.

“Nothing,” he lied. Louis raised a brow at him.

“Oh my god, that’s a huge butterfly,” he shouted, and Harry got distracted for a quick second and looked behind him, and Louis snatched his phone, shouting triumphantly.

“Louuu…” Harry whined, and he’d never admit that his heart melted a little.

“Lets see,” he sang, and he looked at the screen. And then paused a little in surprise. The photos Harry were looking at was of him. Pictures taken a distance away, him standing amidst flowers, him admiring them. Louis’ was sure he was gaping.

“Harry….you took photos….of me?” he asked in disbelief. Harry looked slightly embarrassed.

“You just…you looked beautiful around the flowers. I just had to. I’m sorry I took them without your permission.”

“What? Harry I’m not mad! They’re beautiful,” Louis said, and they were, only someone with an artistic eye could capture those.

“As are you,” Harry mumbled lowly, and Louis almost didn’t catch it, but he could feel the heat creep up his neck. He gave the phone back to Harry, and continued to walk around, Louis watching Harry, and Harry looking at the flowers.

After half an hour, they had gotten out of the nursery, and Harry turned to Louis, who was holding out a pot of colorful tulips. Harry let out a small gasp of wonder.

“Louis, when did you buy these? Are they for me?”

“you didn’t tell me, you wanted them didn’t you? So I got them for you,” he shrugged, and Harry excitedly took the pot from him in awe.

“Thank you Louis! I love them!” He said, voice rising in pure joy and it made Louis so happy, to see him happy.

They started walking back, this time to Harry’s house, and Louis just wanted to keep him, but it was only right to drop him off at his own home. They walked, hand in hand, quiet chatter and laughter. With Harry, time seemed to slow down, in the best way possible, made it like Louis had all the time in the world to pick out what he admired in him. Harry didn’t know it, but he had made his life a bit brighter, a bit more to look forward to.

When they reached Harry’s house, it was a bit after noon, and Louis stood there, squinting against the light. Harry was looking at him with a warm smile.

“Did you enjoy love?” he asked Harry quietly.

“Yeah, a lot. Thank you Louis, and thanks for the flowers.”

“You know,” Louis began, “it feels awfully lot like a first date.”

“You did that though; except I was unaware,” Harry replied, tilting his head.

“I kinda ruined the cliché kiss outside your date’s door thing, didn’t I?” he asked, ands Harry seemed to catch his drift.

“Yeah. But I believe in second chances,” he said, stepping closer.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

With that Louis closed the space between them, cradling Harry’s face and kissing him deeply. Harry snaked one arm around Louis’ waist, tilting his head and deepening the kiss, a soft sound of disapproval escaping his lips when he pulled away.

“Did I live up to your expectation then?” Louis asked slyly, and Harry grinned.

“You went beyond that.”

With an assurance that he would meet him tomorrow most likely, Louis left his house, and watched as Harry looked on till he had walked out of the driveway, and only then getting inside and shutting the door after himself. Louis realized he had the most ridiculous smile on his face; but at this moment, he truly didn’t care. Because he knew how lucky he got, that Harry was willing to even let him in. And he was going to cherish that chance, and do his most, because Harry deserved the world, and he would give all he could to see to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'd just like to apologize again. its the writing that got so late, and i am purely to blame. I really wish I could've done this earlier and better. thank you for reading, if its good or bad, i'd like to know :) )


	10. ANNOUNCEMENT

Its been a long 8 months. Both uni and personal problems got me stuck for so long. But I am currently working on the next chapter, because we have no plans of abandoning the fic before the end. Hope to post it soon! Thank you for bearing with me :)


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